Her Feat

Her Feat

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze
"

Breathtaking suspense..

"







Tick-tock, Tick-tock

The clock is ticking

Knock-knock, knock-knock

He is outside my door


Lub-dub, lub-dub,

I hear my heart pounding

Whoosh-whoosh, whoosh-whoosh,

The wind keeps gushing


Thump-thump, thump-thump

The door is about to break

Woo-woo, woo-woo,

The police are coming


Rat-a-tat! Rat-a-tat!

The bullets pierced through me

Bang-bang, bang-bang

My husband still cries at the door


Wuh-uh, ah-uh, wuh-uh

Goodbye my love, I have to go.








© 2015 Jyoti_Ablaze



Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Tried something new!
Hope you enjoy this as much as I had while writing it!
Review, rate and share.
Thank you for your time.

My Review

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Reviews

review: lol... not sure if that was serious post, but i kinda had fun with this write. interesting. it's a mood-refreshing piece of art you dripped down in words. liked it!

rate: 99.9%
ps. as always you know, half % is consumed into... "review". xoxo lol

Posted 11 Months Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

11 Months Ago

Onomatopoeia is to imitate the natural sounds of a thing. It creates a sound effect that mimics the .. read more
Adams

11 Months Ago

i kinda very well know the meaning of that word. i just liked how cleverly and perfectly you used th.. read more
Jyoti_Ablaze

11 Months Ago

You are heartily welcomed. Thank you for your visit.
I'm sure you must be singing this loud when you wrote it!! Nice!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Oh yeah! Thank you!
scary. Why did she do it I wonder. I guess her heart will never "lub dub" again. (lub dub sounds a bit unusual for a heart beat I think??) Overall though, great poem. :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Well I guess its very close to how the heartbeat sounds.
Thanks for the kind review.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Exciting poem and a refreshing change to the norm...keep writing you are very creative...BRAVO

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you! Glad you liked it!
Must have been a great surprise to see the police come and kill his love for whatever they thought she had done. A secret life, a spy perhaps or just a mistake of picking the wrong door. Well Done.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Well the husband actually called to police to stop her.
Willard Wells

1 Year Ago

But they shot her?? Maybe he should not have called them. LOL
Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

She shot herself. :)
tring! tring! tring! tring!
this piece, like what we used to sing :-p
i like the rhythm as well as your creativity

Posted 1 Year Ago


Deepak K. Belbase

1 Year Ago

it's my pleasure to make sure if I've not left a wonderful thing...
Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

:) thank you.
Deepak K. Belbase

1 Year Ago

ur welcome ;-)
I read this poem again today. I like it, more so now, after you explained your motive and plot drive to me. I was seeing things from a different perspective than you, as you were when you were writing it.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you sir. I am glad you were able to see it from my perspective now.
Something new for sure... unique...

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you. :)
Superb articulation of thoughts. Sometimes trying new things open up a world of new possibilities. Thanks for sharing :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you for the kind words.
seems like a horror movie scene, where the maniac killer got his first victim, with everyone else arriving too late. in this case you're the victim... xD fun read.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

A nice perspective, Danny! But the real scenerio that I was trying to depict was a woman committing .. read more
Dani The Unreviewed

1 Year Ago

you're welcome :)

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Added on September 17, 2015
Last Updated on September 20, 2015

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



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My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

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