A Few Months Are Several Days

A Few Months Are Several Days

A Poem by Karina Longo
"

Lovey-dovey lyrics. Read 'Writer's Note'.

"
When the dawn breaks in
I forget my name and who I am
So shallow within,
They call me Hollow Man.

It's been like Spring without
blossoming, a day without sparkle
My life's a broken tape
Colour fading and silent voices
I can only hear the empty noises

I think I know - something is missing
My heart's metalic-crimson,
All cold, slightly diseased
And the melting cure is always you.
You say, 'It's not that bad
I'll be back someday,
It's maybe just a few months,
I'll be there, so wait'

But a few months are several days
What does it take to kill inside
What's meant to live in pain?
A few months can change history
So how could I know if in a few months
You'd still want to come and live with me?

In a few months you'll miss my birthday
In a few months the Spring and heat are over
In a few months there won't be today
These holy tears will dry,
the uniqueness will fade away

Insecure and paranoid, shivering like a dog
Clingy wirey boy, dazed and confused
They say I just keep mumbling cliches
But is it really hard to see

That a few months are several days
Each second of my life I'm loving you
So it's a real long way
But even if a few months are several days
All I can say, is
You know you're worth the wait.

© 2011 Karina Longo



Author's Note

Karina Longo
Lovey-dovey LYRICS. It's not a poem, it's a lyric. It's a simple portrait of a young man's anxiety and fear of losing his loved one.

P.S.: It's quite 'teeny', I know. But it's written from the perspective of a teenager boy.

My Review

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Featured Review

I really liked this piece. Well structured and overall
good lyrics.
I felt like the beginning was very strong and colored with lovely metaphors whereas a little towards the end I felt it got a bit weaker. I think if you went back and revised it, this piece would be incredible

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow! this is outstanding! You left my mouth wide-open :))

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is great. It really captures how, when we are young, every moment seems to last a life time, every day, every event, every birthday, every spring, seems crucially important... I wish we could keep this wonder, this stillness of the passage of time, forever. This is highly evocative - we are never so tender, so vulnerable, so naked, as the first time we truly experience romantic feelings for someone, feelings so powerful, and which we have no experience of dealing with. This reminded me powerfully of that feeling. It is a classic romantic poem with very classic romantic imagery and a super sweet, romantic ending :-)
There are a couple of very good, powerful. and original descriptives in here - "hollow man", "my heart is metallic crimson, cold, slightly diseased" and "clingy, wiry boy" I thought were particularly good and really made the subject come alive. Really good writing.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You use some good similes and present it well.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"It's been like Spring without
blossoming, a day without sparkle
My life's a broken tape
Colour fading and silent voices
I can only hear the empty noises "
You are a skill writer. The words were strong and powerful. I like how you described the emotion and desire. A very good to a outstanding poem. Thank you. A perfect ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well said! A good song from a talent so young shows great promise for a bright future, keep up the good work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent lyric.. great imagery.. you can feel the pain and anxiety in this.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It really tells a story, and sums up very well the pain of waiting and wondering if your love is coming back, nicely written!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very well written poem. Waiting for your love is one of the hardest things...Few months are several days..I couldn't relate more. Excellent.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really liked this, but of course. I always like your writing. I think it'd be a really great song, even if it is from the perspective of a teenage boy. Lots of people from several different walks of life would be able to sympathize and connect with the words. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 29, 2011
Last Updated on April 2, 2011

Author

Karina Longo
Karina Longo

Further Away, Somewhere, Brazil



About
I'm a lyric writer/poet since I was 13. First of all, I would write on my language (Portuguese) only. But then I taught myself English and with time I've got confident enough to write some lyrics/.. more..

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