My heavy crownII

Death from the eyes of a pain that seems to never stop...

 

My heavy crownII

 

Holding on my heavy crown

I watched my world falling down

...Down, down it goes

Full of cracks, full of holes

All the years I stood my ground

Under the burning sun I drowned

…

…(Now)

Droop down drops of rain

Swiftly washing away the pain

As the lights are fading down

I take off my heavy crown

Rest my body on the ground

No more faces staring no more crowd (slows down)

 

I knew it from the start

Shot full of holes I fall apart

As the smoke hits the light

The struggle of wrong and right

It all makes more sense tonight

The darkness of death and all its might

 

Gazed into the colors of gray

As I watched my loved ones decay

Now it's my time to fallow their way

 

Droop down drops of rain

Swiftly washing away the pain

As the lights are fading down

I take off my heavy crown

Rest my body on the ground

No more faces staring no more crowd (slows down)

 

Looked into the devils eyes

Played a game, rolled the dice

My soul already in place

My body searching out the space

Lost in an empty shifting grace

As I switched the blood for this trace

 

Cutting lights from the ceiling

A bullet of thoughts as my feeling

Breathing slowly till I stop breathing

 

Droop down drops of rain

Swiftly washing away the pain

As the lights are fading down

I take off my heavy crown

Rest my body on the ground

No more faces staring no more crowd

My heavy crown

My heavy crown

My heavy crown

(End)

Author's Note

This is NOT a message to give up! Death might be merciful in some cases! But before you go through that journey, you have to give you 100% in life! If your life is hard, I say give that old lady the best you have and don't ever give up!

Reviews

[...]

... well ... this comment is from someone who hasn't read part I yet ... my apologies ... just read part II ... and i cannot help but say this ... this write just flows and flows like a stream of consciousness ... i can't imagine anyone who reads it not getting affected by it ... "droop down drops of rain" ... is sheer poetic excellence ... not just for the alliteration and image ... but for sheer profundity ...

Full of cracks, full of holes
All the years I stood my ground
Under the burning sun I drowned

... exquisite lines ... they bite and slice ... with immense poetic finesse ...

Gazed into the colors of gray

... beautiful ... like a water-colour painting ...

No more faces staring no more crowd

... brutally poetic ... for someone who is struck by excessive attention and judgement ...

My soul already in place
My body searching out the space
Lost in an empty shifting grace
As I switched the blood for this trace

... scary ... distressing ... disturbing ... yet divinely poetic ... extremely skillful use of the words "space" ... and ... "grace" ...

A bullet of thoughts as my feeling

... out of this world brilliant ... just amazing ...

No more faces staring no more crowd
My heavy crown
My heavy crown
My heavy crown

... a beautiful closing ...

... i don't know the precise context so i can't possibly comment on that ... but from my own life ... i do know one thing ... whenever i've felt suicidal or close to feeling suicidal ... i allow myself to disintegrate and then rebuild myself ... and it's really as simple as re-designing my life ... by deciding what i spend my time on ... and ... therefore ... which thoughts and actions ... i validate ... hope that does not sound simplistic as it really isn't ... anyway ... this is an extremely enriching read ... and somewhere ... maybe because of the excellence with which it has been written ... it reeks of resilience ... and it torments but inspires too ... it's amazing to read verse from your universe of verse ...

[ShadowDance]

Of course my heavy crown II, there is heavy crown I too, 2 is just a rewrite, but hey you didn't die, did you now?
So man I think you owe me a bet well won?
Well ok your not 25 yet, but I can see 25 coming soon and me wining even sooner
Take that bro
PS: I LOVED IT, truely one of your deepest times with death you came to one of what I believe is your best piece of art about death...

[jenny]

love it, speechless

[Jeannine Saadeh]

aww ur lil bro is so cute ! besides that, this is an obviously a depressing poem and im glad u wrote that this isnt a message to give up, cuz i would totally have lashed out on u for saying that u dont have enough time to live!...nevertheless, i like the rhythm of these words and i want to hear this one cuz im sure it would sound a lot cooler spoken...

[the reader of sorrow]

I remeber when we argued about this one! bro, why you think death is behind you? I want you to live for 100 years please? lol... love you my brother

I like the way you sign it out!
All the best,
Basel