Love

Love

A Story by Original Stories

"Why do you think you're unlovable?" 
"Why do you think?"
"I personally think that you are very lovable."
"Liar."
"Come on, you have got to get over this."
"Why? There's no need. I'm not gonna kill myself or anything. So what's the big deal?"
"The big deal? Everyone's worried about you. Whenever they try to console you, you brush them off. Plus, Jack found you crying your head off in the hallway the other day."
"He told you that?"
"Yeah. You sure you're okay?"
"I will be after I kill him."
"Seriously? Here we are talking about mental stability and you just declare to the world that you are gonna murder someone."
"Let go of me and you know I was kidding."
"Yeah but they don't."
"So what? They can mind their own business."
"Come on! I'm just trying to be a good friend."
"If you were a good friend, you'd drop the subject."
"Fine."

© 2017 Original Stories



My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I see that you have a knack for dialogue, which is a giant plus for someone aspiring to write. The conversation sounds natural. On the subject, feeling unloved is a terrible state to be in. I was there once, and somehow got through it. I think one has to have faith that things will change for the better. (And they always do)

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

My only reserve about this is the phrasing "mental stability," but it's colored by the context where I'm coming from--namely, mental stability isn't something widely discussed.

I'm sure it happens between good friends (and even if not widely, tis perfectly alright; ideal, even, for fiction). However, I'm not sure "mental stability" is a casual-sounding phrase.

Maybe change it to something like "stability" or "you being okay".

Just my two cents. Regardless, this is a concise yet substantial great read.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I see that you have a knack for dialogue, which is a giant plus for someone aspiring to write. The conversation sounds natural. On the subject, feeling unloved is a terrible state to be in. I was there once, and somehow got through it. I think one has to have faith that things will change for the better. (And they always do)

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

88 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 25, 2017
Last Updated on April 25, 2017
Tags: love, depression, friends, talks, feelings

Author

Original Stories
Original Stories

Roanoke, VA



About
I am a young writer and still am in grade school. I am in need of some feedback from people who aren't biased because they know me. Most of my stuff is crap but I like to write and have other people r.. more..

Writing
Grey Grey

A Story by Original Stories



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..