Too Late

Hey. You seem happy today, I'm glad you're feeling'

the feeling of peace. 

I need a piece of your mind for a minute.

My soul is happy and since your happy, I'm hoping you can put some in it.

Hey. I guess you don't hear me, I'm friendly no need to fear me.

Hey what's up, are you sad? are you feeling down?

I'm here if you need a ear or maybe two

I've been here for you for about two years.

You never pay me attention, I guess is because 

you're sad and you don't want anybody bothering

you or is it just me. I'm here but I need to jut breathe

yooooo, are you mad today ? you looked heated?

You need help with anything? I have your back if anything

hello? Can't understand my words. This silence isn't cute

I know you're mad or whatever but don't put this voice on mute.

okay, whatever. I know this can't last forever. I'll sever who ever

but then again who am I to you?

Today, I am just walking. Walking with no particular location

I started walking and I heard someone screaming from behind me

sounded like it was saying " Jello , Mellow , Fellow or Yellow"

I don't know it was something like that, oh well.

It was too late.

Reviews

[Kianna]

Dear CRZ,

How are you today? I saw this poem in my news feed and the title caught my eye because I surely can identify with that title. I must point out that in the first stanza, third line, change "your" to "you're." I'm supposing in same line, the word "some," refers to the peace the narrator is talking to. This line right here seems loose, "I'm friendly no need to fear me." I feel like that stanza can do without it, but that's my opinion. Overall, this stanza to me reminds me of a poisonous relationship in where there's so much giving, very little receiving.

In the third stanza, in the first line, change "a" to "an." In the third line of that stanza, remove the word, "is," as it is idly there. The last line, change "jut" to "just." The second stanza reminds me of someone being invisible and imprisoned by another's emotional episodes.

This line was a tad awkward, "you looked heated." This is awkward too, "don't put this voice on mute." There's no structure rhyme scheme from the beginning so no need to make anything rhyme now.

Anywho, the feeling is definitely something one can relate to trying to help someone, but not being able to. I liked the meaning and indeed was a good read.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

I have to say your feedback was the best I've read on here. So, I'm going to have to agree with what you are saying about this poem. Overall, I did enjoy how the tone remained constant throughout the poem, even if there were a few grammar fixes ( which, is normal by the way), it did have moments of beautiful diction, I especially like the line "I need a piece of your mind for a minute." It really brings the reader into the tone of the piece.

[Leigh]

Meaningful thought to paper executed well, I like the way this pours out in a flow, you have used a good dialogue style that works well and seems very real.

[Frieda P]

Feels more like a stream of consciousness depicting the chaos of your thoughts & feelings which jumble through the mind, jello, mellow, fellow, yellow, I think I lost you there.

[wordman]

makes sense to me good write if you can`t get it borrow it

[Sami Khalil]

Meaningful amongst all the confusion of life...Bravo..................

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Great piece with great meaning.
I enjoyed reading this one.
You can only try and help someone for so long, before you just give up.
You cant try forever.... so one day this person wants your help and its to late.
Great write i liked this one :)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a solid piece, with a tremendous feel to it. A few minor things: fourth line, first stanza you're, and in the third line, third stanza, I guess it's because.

[CriticalxxAngel]

I like the meaning of the poem. Being there for someone and not even being noticed by them is a feeling I can relate to. Great Write

[Nia Hope]

I like this poem. It is very well articulated and very different I enjoyed it :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Usually not a bad critic, just gonna be honest... i got the point of the piece. i'm just a lil confused by it's direction. it has great potential, i guess for me, i need a lil more about the subject. if it being open-ended was intended, i do apologize.

[Serenity]

I like how its like one sided dialogue and it just keeps going, its a very interesting piece, I like it, keep it up I would like to see more from you :)