samples

samples

 

 

bits of love's blood

extracted from a vein of pain

leaves drops of dehydration

coagulation of rejections past

 

the flow now denied

pulsation on life support

memories, an out of body experience

wishes he had secured a transfusion

 

while there was still a time

his heart

beat on its own.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/4/17

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' ..while there was still a time.. '

'I rarely read others' reviews - isn't what i'm here for - but, having read your poem, I did so and found a dsitinct thread: this poem is a brief but fiercely streaming crimson metaphor! You've caught the cut and thrust of tragic relationships in a few words; laid open their pain, cut deeper than deep, and finished with the loneliness of red-raw experience.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, em...

j.

[h d e rushin]

can we agree to be an organ donator. That is when it is clear that our broken organs could save someone less fortunate. But by samples I think you mean blood samples. And is there any greater vehemence to the world becoming undone than blood (your or my blood) on the sheets of retribution? Writing poetry is a special privilege Jacob........great metaphor....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i always love finding out what you see in my pieces, dana....enlightening for me the poet, often you see things i didn't know i meant.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

One clever, deeply perceptive metaphor; a poetic expression you practice better than just about anybody.
Kudos, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy.
j.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Code Blue! Love stopped- Heart stopped...No DNR so love/life support started. Will he make it? What a grand, macabre metaphor this is j.! Perfect.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Annette...
j.

[KeeD]

It's like a map drawn with veins, pulsating warm memories and cold harsh defeats, circulating through my heart like a constant reminder that someday it'll all be over and done with so make sure I make the most of every pump or else I too shall regret not securing a transfusion. Through your words i'm constantly learning not only how to write but how to live. Thank you Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are too kind, Keegan....i appreciate your words...
j.

[.]

Medical procedure as metaphor for the death of love and bittersweet memories of this lost love.....

As always, extremely well constructed in all it's metaphorical brilliance. You seem to have an unlimited well of these writes, Jacob.

Excellent writing per usual.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Doodley.
j.

[Ana B.]

damn, the closing lines have a big impact on the reader. Powerful samples you gifted us with Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Ana.....

j.

[Ruth]

This is such a lament of sorts and left me feeling lonely, so mission accomplished (I think). As per norm, your words shatter the very reality of your readers Jacob, brilliant...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Poppy....and so good to see you again.

j.

[Ruth]

Always my pleasure love and good to see you too x

[Einstein Noodle]

now were the hell did i put my viagra ... hee hee .. my RN IV starting memories kept leaping to mind ... oh those devastating "...rejections past" ... they cripple men ..and women i suppose ... but i always marveled how almost all women have that crushing power over men ..but only a few men do ... at least my younger year memories are such ... really like love's blood being taken from a vein of pain .. the two seem inseparable .. :(
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, women seem to have that power...thank you for your words, E.
j.

[DIVYA]

Says so much about regrets. Decisions not made while there was time. We are fools sometimes and the worst thing is going knowing we could have done better. The concluding line is so profound.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, DIVYA----
j.