Boy and Girl {1}

An online conversation between a broken couple. Girl's perspective.

Girl logs on.

Boy logs on.

Girl: hey                                                                          Pleasepleaseplease answer.

Boy: hi

Girl: how are you?                                                                 Say you miss me. Please.

Boy: really good. what about you?                             Should I lie? Should I tell the truth?

Girl: great! everything's great!                                                                            Lie.

Boy: that's good.

Girl: yeah.

Boy: look, i'm sorry, but I had to leave. i couldn't be with you anymore. 

Girl: No, it's okay. I understand.                                              I don't understand at all.

Boy: Are you sure?                                                                                        No.

Girl: yes.

Boy: stop lying. 

Girl: What?

Boy: I know you. I know you're not okay.                                    He reads me like a book.

Girl: Fine. I'm not okay, and I don't understand why you just left me! you didn't even say goodbye!

Boy: I know. I'm sorry.                                    You think sorry's gonna cut it? Think                                                                        sorry's gonna piece my heart back together? 

Girl: why didn't you say goodbye?

Boy: it would've been too hard. breakups are messy.              Not as messy as getting                                                                                                        ditched.

Girl: you're just a coward.                                      Where did all this nerve come from?

Boy: I know. 

Girl: come home. i still love you.                                                         I still love him.

Boy: i can't. i've met someone else.                                                 He doesn't love me.

Girl: but i love you. 

Boy: i knew that when i left. it changed nothing.                                    He's killing me.

Girl: give me a second chance.                                                                        Please.

Boy: i'm sorry, but i have to go.                                                           This is the end.

Girl: no! stay!                                                                                He's already gone. 

Boy: i really am sorry.

Boy logs off. 

Girl: i am, too.                                                                             I love you. Forever.

Girl logs off.

Author's Note

A short conversation between a girl and a boy who used to be together. the italics are the girl's thoughts as she's reading and talking with the boy. i'll be doing a sequel that has the italics in the boy's perspective, so you can see what the boy was thinking too. review? truthfully, please.

if you're wondering where all the reviews went, well, look on page 2. my friend commented a whole bunch on here, and i deleted them all (they were silly), and now its blank on page one. so if you'd like to see the reviews, please skip to page 2. thanks.

Reviews

[KT]

This story really speaks to me, because sometimes when I'm having a conversation with someone on chat or whatever, I don't always say how I really feel. I could be doing really crappy and I'll still tell them I'm okay. Awesome job, very good! The dude kinda sounds like a jerk! lol ;)

[Warrior]

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Great visuals and great story telling. It had plot and substance. When you add substance to writing it gets that much better. It gets the reader hooked on it and make them feel as if they are part of it. As long as their is that emotional connection between the reader and the story then it's good. The connection you were able to established in the writing gives the reader a sense of comfortably that they are in tune with the writing. So that way when the writing is over, the reader wants more, and wishes it didn't end. I feel the same way when I watched a movie or tv series that I get so attached to, I never want it to end. And for this writing, I didn't want it to end. You had me hooked, and I am sure everyone else who read it was hooked as well. That is good, that is what you want for people to keep wanting more. The way you put the story together makes me feel like my life is different for that moment in which I read your story. I love it, and it was beautiful. Just keep posting stories like this, and you'll have a good following.

[JadeForever]

this conversation is really realistic thats what i like about it.

[Sarah E. Pearson]

this is really, really touching. it so welly describes how you feel when talking to someone. me and my boyfriend broke up once then stayed apart for a few months before getting back together eventually. but the entire time we were apart, i felt like this, though i tried to act as though it was all fine. i knew and understood while he did what he did, but it was still hard. ANYWAY great write Emma :D

[Sarah]

lovely...

[TheKaylaPup]

i really like this one, and i really like how you show what she is thinking. maybe you should put both their thoughts, but in different colors or something, like, on the same page. just an idea

[Angelic_Dreamer]

this is really interesting!Great beggining!

[Dezzyray]

the emotion is so intense and really sad for the girl. i especially liked how you put the girls thoughts into this it really showed how she truly felt

[Jenni-Chan]

that's sad but it happens.