there exists, inside me, an ache

there exists, inside me, an ache

that i live with every day now

a hole in the corner

of the pocket

of my soul

through which i have lost so many things

spare keys - a shirt button

busfare - your scent

that hair clasp i favoured..

small little bits of me (of you)

seemingly inconsequential things

unnoticed, really,

'til yesterday

when i felt the wind

whistling through my hollowness

eerie lonely sounds of empty jugs

abandoned on a moonshiner's porch

and i knew, then,

what was really lost

what was missing

what i needed

was you

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Reviews

[R J Askew]

The notion of things sliding through the hole -- which many may not even realise is there -- is alarming. How does one mend such a hole? It seems desperate. The realisation that is it there might shock some and explain their vauge sense of malaise, something many people feel these days. Many resort to, or are given, prosac. But can prosac plug such a hole? I think not. the poem has hints of wry wit 'The hair clasp I favoured'. But the best part for me is the empty jug on the moonshiner's porch. Great couple of lines that. When I came to 'jug' I thought what's this? Jug? But then the idea of the wind blowing across its lip generates a very mournful sense. The words empty/abandoned gun the mood.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I absolutely love this poem. The way that you casually include the subject of the poem ("your scent") between bus fare and that hair clasp is perfect.

You have a wonderful sense of what words go where.

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem was amazing. I like the feel and gentleness in your words. I like the desire and emotion in your words. A excellent poem.. A perfect ending.
Coyote

[ashley]

I love this. Very well written! :D

[bluessadmood]

Again a great writing..
I suddenly realized with so much pain that a big hole in my soul through which
I am losing lots,things so dear to me,like your scent..have not noticed but yesterday
Its getting like an empty jug,the wind whistles through it like an abandoned ruins
Abandoned soul,missing something dear so it needs and its you..its you
lovely write..

[Wildfleour]

A very bittersweet poem, my friend. I have read through several of your poems and they all resonate with me and are very evocative.

One small correction: every day (instead of everyday)

[Ferg]

This is beautifully written, simple and elegant, with a wonderfully tender message.

[VintageHottie]

This is very beautiful. I loved how you described losing things like shirt buttons, that are a pain to lose yet mean less when you lose other more important things. I loved it!!

[The Flawed]

This is truly great, to me it's about the little decisions we make along the way that change the course of our lives, the little side roads and alleyways that we turn in to and wander down, looking for a shortcut, or just a change of scenery, till we realise that we cannot find our way back and we have left behind the things that meant the most to us.
But what do I know?
Well done.