Vanity

Me Philosophy

The syndrome of humanity is a dire malady in which its sufferers are enthralled by the vanities of their own petty existence.

Commonly trivial ethnicities and futile religious creeds are often venerated whereas fundamental understandings are widely ignored.

In the end, can one quite tell the difference between the skeletons of emperors and those of slaves?

 

Reviews

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Some express the lack of rhythm or structure within your piece(s) but when I read your expressive writing it reminds me of a 21st century philosophical prose poet. I always say length is unimportant because one can make an impression within a few lines. Even Poe wrote poems of few words. This is how you express...YOURSELF. Keep on writing :)

"In the end, can one quite tell the difference between the skeletons of emperors and those of slaves?" ~ A reflective, moving finality which gives the reader something to think about.

[Constance L. Hartwell]

what a unique piece of writing. I really enjoyed your poem. kudos

[Emily B]

words indeed that would make Louisa May Alcott sit up and take notice. . . thanks for entering my contest.

[Syke]

No rhyme, no rhythm, no commonality of structure whatsoever, hardly a poem. However, lacking in artistic merit, it's still a worthwhile read, since it's only 3 lines. You might want to look up some of your words as although you tried to wax poetically, you actually just murdered the English language, in several spots. Of course, it could be far worse as all you've done is mix up similar words and allowed the basic meaning to seep through, still not very impressive.
To start with, "The humanity syndrome is a dire malady of which its sufferers are enthralled by the vanities of their own existence." should read "Humanity syndrome (or 'The Syndrome of Humanity' or simply 'The Human Condition') is a dire malady IN which ('the afflicted' would read better, but you can keep it as sufferers) sufferers are ('become' would be a better word) enthralled by the vanities of their (possibly replace 'own' with 'petty') own existence.
Second off, "Commonly trivial ethnics and futile creeds are often venerated whereas fundamental understandings are broadly ignored." "Commonly trivial ethnics (should be ethics or ethnicities) and futile creeds (not the greatest word choice as ethic and creed are semi-redundant, specify religious creed perhaps?) are often venerated whereas fundamental understandings (vague shot in the dark, not very well done. Also it's flawed logic, fundamental understandings by definition would not be broadly ignored) are broadly (widely is the more commonly used term) ignored (forgotten or avoided might work better)."
Lastly we have "In the end, can one quite tell the difference between the skeleton of an emperor and that of a slave?" which would read far better as "In the end, can one tell the difference between the skeletons of kings and those of slaves? (or if you don't like the plurals it could be '...skeleton of an emperor and a slave?')
Harsh, but constructive criticism is best when harsh, for you already probably know what the good parts were and mindlessly proffering compliments does nobody any good.

[Ryan Heisel]

it's amazing how just three lines can make you think so much.
In the end, can one quite tell the difference between the skeleton of an emperor and that of a slave?
brilliant observation.

[Alias Fletcher]

Profound observation. Three lines define a problem with the human race.

When I read such truths, I ask myself how will this knowledge change me. Or you.