Lovers breath

Just a short story.

I am in the shower when you come home. I hear you go into the kitchen and try to make dinner but dropping the pots and spilling the rice.

 

God I love you.

 

 I hear you come down the hall, probably looking for Bandaids. You stop as you the pass the bathroom door, you have heard the water running. I will you to come and join me, to open the door and join me in the shower, to shed you clothes in the light for once. But I know you wont, you are to shy, your scars haunt you too much, so much that you can't even show me. You go back into the kitchen and keep cooking. I turn off the water and wrap myself in a towel, running a comb through my wet hair. I walk down the hall to the kitchen and stand by the doorway, watching you silently for awhile.

 

 You are so beautiful, with your long black hair tied back in a messy ponytail and the sunlight casting shadows over you pale face. You turn and see me, you smile and walk over to me, wrapping me in your arms and holding me close to your chest. I say nothing, simply taking in your smell, it's woody, almost sweet, like rain. "How was your day?" you murmur into my hair, your warm breath making my shiver. "It was fine" I reply tilting you face up to look at you. You smile down at me in a way that makes your eyes sparkle like two glittering emeralds and checks dimple just slightly. I reach up and touch your face, running my fingers over the hollow of your cheeks and the curve of you lips. You kiss my finger tips and I shiver, my mind filled with delicious fantasies and my heart filled with longing.

 

 God I want you.

 

You pull away and go back to the stove, turning on the pot of rice and dicing some carrots. We make dinner together, it is plain, carrots and rice, but I eat my helping and more. But it is not food I am truly hungry for.

 

After dinner you clear away the plates, stacking them neatly in the sink, along with the cutlery. You fill the sink and roll up you sleeves. That is when I see them, the scars you are so ashamed of, thin white lines of hatred carved into your skin by angry fingers all those years ago. I move behind you and put my hands on your waist, turning you to face me. There is fear in your eyes, there is also shame and sadness, yes lots of sadness. You know I saw them. "You don't have to hide them anymore" I whisper, placing one hand on his scarred fore arm. At first you shudder at my touch but then you lean in. You kiss me, softly on the mouth, you cheeks wet with tears, and in the moment I know, you aren't going to hide from me anymore.

 

God I see you.   

 

 

 

 

 

Wow!

Jun 30, 2015

 

• The Million Dollar Contest
• Lovers breath

 

 

 

 

Top 10

May 19, 2015

 

• More Contest Capers
• Lovers breath

 

 

 

 

Honorable Mention

Jul 26, 2015

 

• Short Story
• Lovers breath

 

 

 

First Place- Congratulations!

Aug 10, 2015

 

• Emotion- Evoking Romance
• Lovers breath

 

1st Place

Sep 23, 2015

• Romantic Short Stories
• Lovers breath

 

Published

Oct 29, 2015

• Circus of Indie Artist Short Story: Summer 2015
• Lovers breath

        

Author's Note

Just a romantic piece

Reviews

[Lost in Wonderland]

Absolutely intimate and lovely. The repetition was flawless

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, it means a lot to me!

[Stephanie Baker]

This is so beautiful thanks for sharing this piece

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much for reviewing, it means a lot to me!

[Justin]

that was really great :) :) it is a great love story that you can build off and make it into a book :) amazing job :)

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you very much!

[Justin]

your welcome, i hope u build off it

[dw817]

Love is ... putting up with things from our partner that few other people would. It's a series of checks and balances. Because if you can't get along with their little idioms now, what chance have you at a lifelong connection together ?

And yes, we all have scars. Some more visible than others.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Thank you for your review!!

[Kain Delo]

The paragraphs hurt my eyes.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

oh sorry, I find it is an easer format and no one else has complained so yeah.....

[Kain Delo]

It would have worked better if you cut up the paragraph into different parts. With one paragraph containing a single thought process to make it easier for the readers to understand. But otherwise, it's all good.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I just thought that doing that would make the story to choppy

[Kain Delo]

Depending on how you do it, then yeah, sometimes it'll be choppy but if you know your cutting and your story well enough, overall, it'll be less overwhelming to read.

If this were a journalistic piece and you had a sentence as long as a paragraph with one thought per work, then this would be perfect but seeing as this is a literary piece, you could have done better with shorter paragraphs.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

No one else as complained and I personally don't like the idea of that format. Sorry you found it hard to read.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful short story. You set-up the situation and led the reader to a very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent story of love and understanding.
Coyote

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow thank you Coyote, your reviews are much appreciated!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.