YUCATAN (Blank Verse)

Cenotes, pronounced with three syllables, are sinkholes on the Yucatan peninsula. While visiting the pyramid at Uxmal, my guide clapped his hands and the echo came back as birds crowing!

On tropic limestone plain this vision stands.

Clap hands, and bird cries fly from ancient steps.

At Celestun the pink flamingos flock,

and white sand beach doth beckon to me now.

It's the cenotes, though, that call me back

to cool my body and refresh my soul.

A sinkhole, step by step into the earth,

you must go down to float there looking up.

That limestone plain made changes to my self.

I like to bathe in sinkholes when I can.

My hands I always clap when passing by

a monument or token from the past.

Reviews

[Neville]

these words made a smile form across my face and I realised once this pandemic is over and it is again safe to travel, then I must travel.. a well written and fascinating post Roland.. certainly deserving of more interest and recognition... I do hope they now get it...

[Roland Petrov]

Thank you, kind Sir! I do hope to make a return trip one day.

[John Cardwell]

Floating face-up to the sky in a cenote sounds like an amazing experience! I love that part of Mexico. Your poem brought the splendor back to mind in a beautiful way. Thanks for sharing.

[Roland Petrov]

Thanks, John. Why can't I review your poems? I live less than an hour from the Salton Sea!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Roland! :)
This makes me want to go for vacation. I've seen photos of the sinkholes. They are beautiful.

[Roland Petrov]

Except for the sinkholes and the beaches, I didn't find Yucatan particularly beautiful; however, it's mysterious and fascinating. I've only vacationed there once, but I'd like to go back.

[Blossom]

Roland, I like it more than I thought I would! Now I don’t know if that’s a good thing to say (or write) or not, but that’s my first thought. Iambic pentameter or blank verse or whatever, this is a good writing!
The second thought is that I wonder why the clapping of hands part struck a melancholic chord here.
There is something with me and echoes.
Perhaps it’s the sadness that ruins naturally generate and also, the hollowness that creates a sense of what could have been.
Now the fascinating part is visualizing a pink flamingo and the joy multiplies at the thought of a flock! Wow!
I quite envy this lifestyle: exploring the world. It’s a contrast to my almost sedentary lifestyle. Were it not for my workout regime, I might remain glued to my couch. 
After reading it once, I read the first and last lines together. Sorry, for that’s not your sequence, but it makes perfect sense and leaves a resounding sigh!

[Roland Petrov]

Blank verse is usually iambic pentameter that does not rhyme, but it gives the illusion of rhyme if done well. As for echoes, I'd never experienced anything like this: the guide clapped his hands in front of the steps of the pyramid, and the echo came back as birds crowing! The steps were created to distort echoes. 'Twas amazing.

[Suzy Hazelwood]

This sounds kind of surreal Roland! When you say clapped his hands and the echo came back as birds crowing - do you mean literal birds responding or the echo sounded like birds crowing?

Can't imagine bathing in a sinkhole!! But imagining pink flamingoes here is definitely surreal, and probably, I would imagine, a very beautiful sight. Thanks for sharing another fascinating piece of your world!

[Roland Petrov]

Thanks Suzy! Flocks of pink flamingoes, which I first encountered at a lake in Ethiopia, are indeed a magical sight. The tiny picture (kind of useless as they're just too tiny) shows a flock on the beach at Celestun. You see the steps of the pyramid on the larger picture; well, when the guide clapped his hands in front of them, the steps distorted the sound and the echo came back as birds crowing!

[John Cardwell]

Hi Roland and Suzy, I have had a similar experience at the steps down to the beach at Avenue A, Redondo Beach, California. When you stand at the base of the steps and clap it comes back as a bumblebee's buzz.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

You clapped your hands and the birds flew straight from your pen. Your words genuinely took me there. I think the sinkhole swallowed your drink though. :-)

[Roland Petrov]

Yeah, I dropped it when I clapped my hands.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Drinking and clapping your hands at the same is really difficult. LOL!

[Rick Puetter]

Ah, the ruins at Uxmal. Probably my favorite site of the sites I've visited in the Yucatan. They are all so lovely. And the call of the cenotes. Yes, I understand that well. This is a lovely poem and caused so many memories to rush back and flood my mind. Marvelous. Beautiful work, Roland.

And yes, as Richard points out below, the iambic pentameter is consistent and wonderful. As I've always maintained, meter is more powerful than rhyme and this iambic pentameter is perfect. As perfect meter does, it draws you in and increases the impact of the words without the reader even being aware. Excellent form!

Very high marks!

Very best regards,

Rick

[Roland Petrov]

Thanks, Rick; I'm glad this struck a chord with someone. Uxmal is the only major archeological site I've visited in the Yucatan, but after experiencing it, I'm almost hesitant to visit any other for fear that my Uxmal experience could be diluted. It was just that wonderful. Thanks for the encouragement; I'm ready to try more iambic pentameter.

[Richard🖌]

VERY interesting, Roland, and an excellent first effort at the Blank Verse form … it is not easy to compose in iambic pentameter when there is no thyme, and to make it seem as though there is.
Your imagery and interest created is original and pleasing to the senses, keeping the attention nicely throughout, but this seems to be a skillful knack you have with your pieces.

The word "now" is such a stark sound, that to use it twice in so few lines catches the mind's eye, and for this reason it would be advisable to consider substituting something for one of them.
L7, though well-worded, begins trochaic, and I'll make no suggestion in lieu of your own keenly developed skills. The penultimate and final line, though not perfectly so, end in slant or close rhymes, but consider:

"I always clap my hands now when I pass"
"my hands I always clap when passing by" to sort both "now" and the rhyme sound.

You make me proud with your diligent and sincere efforts, Roland, and as I read your other poems, it is easily discernible how your skills in meter, flow, and rhyme have improved, and that is, indeed, very promising and indicative of your progress … thank you for sharing You, my fine friendI 〜 Richard

(90/100 "easily" made into 100/100) =]

[Roland Petrov]

Thank you so much, Richard! I've made a couple of changes based on your suggestions; in fact, I completely plagiarized your suggested improvement for line 11. Line 7 no longer begins trochaic, though I could be wrong.

[Richard🖌]

It wasn't a plagiarism, but an offered suggestion from your favorite editor … LOL!
100/100, now … great improvements, Roland, to a fine and successful Blank Verse!
Now, that you've got it down just right, give us another one! : )