Need not to Need

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room?

Sometimes it strikes me in the middle of the day,

When I'm not alone, but lonely all the same.

Just lingering, trailing after the crowd,

Not exactly lost, but not exactly found.

Something about it makes me cold,

But I'm not frozen to the bone,

Just a little lonely,just a little sad,

A little too tired to feel bad.

My voice is too quiet to give a say,

And even if I shouted, you couldn't hear me anyway.



I'm just too ordinary,

My soul is gray,

I'm too plain and too quiet, too boring and safe

I'm the tower, the friend, the shoulder to lean on,

The constant, the listener, the girl always strong,

I'm the dreamer, the believer, the one who has faith,

The girl who hides her tears, her fears and her pain

The girl always forgotten because she knows,

She knows all too well

That understanding means she'll never have 

The hearts that she held.


So she tries to convince herself that it's all enough,

That she can survive on others' happiness and love,

That she can need nothing but lives to give hope to,

That she can be their shoulder, their tower, she'll make do.


But she's crumbling already,

She's coming apart,

She's not an angel or a falling star,

She's just human and she needs too,

Can't you see that she needs you?

Can't you see she needs a hand to hold,

Someone to make the world bearable?

Can't you hear her screaming out,

Can't you hear her breaking down,

Because she bears the weight of the world all alone

Always, always on her own?



So I dare you to call me by my name,

Go on, I dare you, but you're all the same.

You won't know my face when we meet again,

And to be honest, what difference does it really make?

In the end I'm just a memory,

Somebody that meant the world in a time of need,

Somebody who can be brushed away, cast aside,

Not needed any longer in your busy life.

I'm the nameless, the forgotten, nobody's number one,

Just a spare set of keys, tossed away when you're done,

Tell me I'm wrong, go ahead, I dare you,

But you know it deep in your own heart too,

You know you turn away when something more comes along,

Something better and brighter and more fun,



And so I am left in the corner of the room,

Always smiling, always ready,

Always, always just wanting to die

Because words may be pretty

But lips can lie,

And who will hold me when I can't sleep at night?


You say you want to know the real me?

Well I've bared my soul for your entertainment

And that is all, boys,

That is all because I am the tower and I am the rock and I am the stable and the sweet and the shoulder and that is all I will ever, ever be.



And you will never remember my name.

Author's Note

vent poem of sorts :P