A Childhood Love

a boy I liked awhile ago, he's going through a tough time and sometimes I wanna let him know he's not alone

 

As long as I known you

You’ve never been quiet

You’ve done your own thing

Despite what people said.

My childhood crush

Comes back to haunt me

I lie and say I’m over it

Though it’s obvious I’m not.

 

But you’ve changed

Over our school years together

What happened to the sweet boy

I once knew?

You’ve started to mimic another

A boy who is never a role model

Someone you shouldn’t

Ever trust to be loyal.

 

He’s called you out in class

But you stayed by his side

Red face and all

Determined for no one to see the hurt.

But I saw

The remains of the younger you

The boy who laughed

Without a care in the world.

 

Growing up changes us

We try to find our places

I can see you wrestling

With your own inner demons.

I often want to share

We have more in common than you think

Let you know

You’re never alone.

 

Author's Note

review please!! :)

Reviews

[The Violent Wolf]

very nice :)

[C.C. Marx]

Thank you :)

[Jesse Jacques]

awww so sweet

[C.C. Marx]

thanks for the review :)

[Jesse Jacques]

np

[Lover Of Words]

This is awesome!!! Love the first stanza!!!! NIcely done

[C.C. Marx]

thx again all you're reviews are appreciated!! thx again :)

[Lover Of Words]

My pleasure

[CNRain]

It sounds like a coming of age narrative poem. It feels like an experience most people know about and can relate to. Very well written! :]

[C.C. Marx]

thank you, I appreciate the comment! I was hoping others could relate :)

[lynne]

I can so relate to this! Omg! I actually dated my childhood crush, and we recently broke up a few weeks ago. He has changed over the years, but for the better. But still, I can totally relate to this >__

[C.C. Marx]

Thanks for the review! And sometimes its sad to move on but that's just apart of life sometimes, you know?

[lynne]

Yep >__< I agree

[C.C. Marx]

Things will end well eventually, it might just take time :)

[K.G]

As long as I known you=as ling as i have/i've known you


other then that, this is really good. . . .infact i can relate to this as well. . . .

[C.C. Marx]

whoops, didn't notice that! thanks and I was hoping other people could relate to it too...if you ever want share feel free, I always listen

[K.G]

haha your wellcome love ^.^
im pretty sure other people do, just for some its harder to come out and say it, haha and thanks, ill keep that in mind the next time i wanna imagine drowning my cat XD (kidding, i love my cat but i dont wanna officaly blurt to the world who the person actually is)

[C.C. Marx]

hahaha oh my! And I understand it...I would die if the person who this is about found this poem! Thanks for the advice and review i appreciate it greatly!

[K.G]

lol your greatly wellcomed ^.^

[Alexa Tasch]

I dont know why you were nervous, I love this! It has so much emotion and truth in it! The best writing comes from the heart and this obviously did. I really liked how your sentences spilled over multiple lines instead of just trying to force it into one. Great poem!

[C.C. Marx]

aww thank you! i was hoping the emotion would be there, I've been thinking a lot about him lately and how he has no idea we have so much in common

[Alexa Tasch]

That totally sucks! You need to go up to him and slap him in the face till he wakes up :)

[C.C. Marx]

i should cause hes obviously asleep if he doesn't notice anything! At the beginning of the school year, he was going through so tough crap and i realized later on, that was going through the same thing. I wanna tell him hes not alone but that would be admitting what I know, and I'm probably not suppose to know that about him

[Alexa Tasch]

You guys used to be childhood friends right? tell him you miss hanging with him or something. That might work

[C.C. Marx]

Well we were kinda friends but it was a group thing and i always had a crush on him....this year though i forgot about him until one of my friends was like "hey did you hear about so-and-so? They been absent for the first three days of school! I heard he was so nervous about school and soccer he was making himself sick!" and that's when i started thinking about him again. I understand it because i realized this year i have an anxiety issue

[Alexa Tasch]

Oh wow. I hope it gets better for you guys

[C.C. Marx]

Thanks you! I'm working on my issue and even though i can't confront him about his, I wish him all the best

[Alexa Tasch]

And just think, maybe he likes you and is too nervous to tell you wouldn't that be awesome?

[C.C. Marx]

That would be awesome but the thing is, I get the feeling he tolerates me (i can be kinda obnoxious :) lol) but sometimes we talk and things go good and others i don't think he even sees me

[Alexa Tasch]

well dont worry, a lot of guys can be like that. Thats why girls are obviously the superior sex. We notice thing

[C.C. Marx]

Yes we do...guys sometimes can't see anything past a girl's looks

[Alexa Tasch]

althought there are some girls like that too. I like to call them s***s

[C.C. Marx]

Agreed but I also call them other names that aren't exactly appropriate...i could go on and on :)

[Alexa Tasch]

I wonder how many we could come up with

[C.C. Marx]

Don't worry I got lots and I'm sure you have numerous to contribute

[Alexa Tasch]

we could probably break a world record

[C.C. Marx]

hell ya i mean insult the skanks of the world is like my job

[Alexa Tasch]

i'd like to get paid for that

[C.C. Marx]

I would be a very successful business

[Alexa Tasch]

You could call it, How to Insult a Hoe .Co

[C.C. Marx]

Haha ya that will pay for a car sure enough

[Alexa Tasch]

and oh the names you could call that car!

[C.C. Marx]

Oh but it would be my baby, why would i call my baby profanity names :)

[Alexa Tasch]

what kind of car would you get?

[C.C. Marx]

right now anything i can afford but if i had the money it would be a different story

[Alexa Tasch]

I'm into big expensive and have no job (cuz im 16 with no liscence) so I'm knid of screwed when it comes to cars ^^

[C.C. Marx]

Well im a money hoarder with a few babysitting jobs here and there im not sure why people trust me with there children

[Alexa Tasch]

I baby sat once and the kid and parents loved me!.....they never called me back though

[C.C. Marx]

Aww that's too bad! Im babysitting tomorrow for a new family and I'm kinda worried

[Alexa Tasch]

im sure you'll do fine!

[C.C. Marx]

thx but the thing is I've never babysat for anyone over six

[Alexa Tasch]

they're much easier. all they want to do is watch TV

[C.C. Marx]

i guess but im so used to babysitting three year olds who need constant supervison

[Alexa Tasch]

well as long as you dont hit them or eat them you should be ok

[C.C. Marx]

Its just one girl and Ive known her for years and I might hit her if she gets annoying :p

[Alexa Tasch]

as long as its just cause :)

[C.C. Marx]

haha ya but the parents might not it that way

[Alexa Tasch]

yeah and they do have the final say unfortunately

[C.C. Marx]

Ya if i get fired on the first day for abusing children i don't think that would be good for business

[Alexa Tasch]

haha probably not unless the parents are REALLY REALLY mean

[C.C. Marx]

i dont think they are that bad but you never no

[Alexa Tasch]

Then just throw candy at the kids. all kids like candy

[C.C. Marx]

Ehh my neighbor doesn't he cant eat anything with nuts or milk and he hates all non chocolate candy to

[Alexa Tasch]

BEAT THIS CHILD! THROW HIM IN THE PITS!!!

[C.C. Marx]

sigh i wish but i get the most jobs from him so thats gonna be a no

[Alexa Tasch]

aw too bad. i bet it'd be interesting to watch

[C.C. Marx]

I agree there has been five fights in my school already this year and another in my soccer game
read moreI agree there has been five fights in my school already this year and another in my soccer game

[Alexa Tasch]

woah aggressive much? my school never gets that many fights

[C.C. Marx]

Ahh well my school is not known for being the best at much

[Alexa Tasch]

ah i see

[C.C. Marx]

We have quite a few learning to be dealers at a young age let's say that

[Alexa Tasch]

so does my school. and middle schoolers having sex. yet another opportunity to blame society and global warming

[C.C. Marx]

Can we blame poor parenting too? I feel like they're just as much to blame....my neighbor was caught smoking a cigarette and got her whole taken away for ONE day, its ridiculous

[C.C. Marx]

*phone (not whole)

[Alexa Tasch]

seriously? although that was probably torture becuase she couldn't text constantly. heaven forbid

[C.C. Marx]

Probably but the girl has admitted to my bus last year that if there was a drug test, there would be a whole lot more than weed in her system

[Alexa Tasch]

thats just sad

[C.C. Marx]

she is one screwed up person and honestly a long time ago we used to be friends

[Alexa Tasch]

dont you hate it when that happens? when your old friends grow up and away from you and only turn out to be jerks?

[C.C. Marx]

Yep I going through that right now and that other girl though we would sorta friends but nothing compared to the friends I've drifted away from

[Alexa Tasch]

yeah. and its wierd how a lot of our ex friends turn out to be pot heads or s***s

[C.C. Marx]

Your exactly right I mean I have no idea when my life turned into an Avril song

[Alexa Tasch]

me either. I just like to think the they will be pregnant before the graduate and I will grow up to be more successful than them and it makes me feel better

[C.C. Marx]

That's some positive thinking, my CCD teacher from a few years ago used to tell us "You wanna know how many kids from high school i still talk to? Zero. Honestly just don't give a s**t, those people don't matter anyways."

[Alexa Tasch]

well thats....cheerful. Honestly, I only have 7 people I talk to on a daily basis and I will probably only stay in touch with like four

[C.C. Marx]

I have a good amount of regular friend I'm a pretty open book I don't keep things bottled up but none I'm really that close too except like my best friend and I use to have two best friends

[Alexa Tasch]

I never had a best friend because while most people meet their best friends at preschool, i never went to that, so when I got to kindergarten, everyone already had a bff. but its ok cuz I have my twin sister

[C.C. Marx]

Oooo lucky well my best i met in third grade but we didn't get close until seventh grade, and my old best friend I've known since kindergarten but I don't trust her anymore not since we got until high school

[Alexa Tasch]

yeah. I thought I had a best friend in kindergarten, well i called her my best friends, but she called someone else her best friend, and then she turned into a total jerk in middle school and got worse in high school

[C.C. Marx]

Ya this one girl decided she wanted to be more popular during soccer season and well now between seasons, she is trying to get back in good with me, and all the girls I am more friends with than her, but honestly i can't trust her not to ditch me again

[Alexa Tasch]

don't trust her. Sounds like shes using you

[C.C. Marx]

She basically is and I don't want to burn all ties, I act civil and helpful, but lately I've been a lot less including than I was....Its hard to forgive and forget you know? And moving on is pretty damn hard to

[Alexa Tasch]

I usually dont speak unless spoken to in this case and remain neutral, not friendly but not mean either ya know?

[C.C. Marx]

I get it I try to do that but I have an impulsive anger and laying low is not always easy from me

[Alexa Tasch]

i think people with impulsive angers are fun to be firends with cuz they flip out on other peole and you get to watch

[C.C. Marx]

Haha thats me if there was a girl-fist fight in school most likely i would be in it.... i once punched a girl in a basketball game lol

[Alexa Tasch]

lol why?

[C.C. Marx]

She pulled my hair when I had the ball and it went out of bounds so I got mad an turned around and hit her in the back....I got a technical foul :)

[Alexa Tasch]

but she pulled your hair!! not cool

[C.C. Marx]

I know it totally wasn't but "retaliation is ok....blah blah blah" I swear that ref hated me from the start

[C.C. Marx]

*isn't

[Alexa Tasch]

did they actually lecture you like that?

[C.C. Marx]

Yeah they did! IN front of the other team, my team, my parents, the crowd, etc and best part, I was in sixth grade

[Alexa Tasch]

what losers!!

[C.C. Marx]

I know I was very embarrassed but sadly that wasn't my last technical foul

[Alexa Tasch]

rules are meant to be broken

[C.C. Marx]

exactly its a wonder I haven't gotten a yellow card in soccer yet....I've come close though

[Alexa Tasch]

well as long as you keep dodging bullets

[C.C. Marx]

Im pretty good at that i just pretend i didn't do anything lol im a profuse swearer on the field though

[Alexa Tasch]

who isn't? Gym class becomes a battle ground of insults

[C.C. Marx]

Haha ya except I do that on the soccer field during a game though not loud enough for parents to hear and the funny thing is I was bitching on this guy in my gym class group and hes older and taller than me lol

[Alexa Tasch]

lol its always the small one you've got to look out for

[C.C. Marx]

Exactly but I realized I'm that girl in gym who yells at her teammates when they mess up....how horrible am i

[Alexa Tasch]

Oh i never do that becuase my friends and I all suck equally at sports :)

[C.C. Marx]

Haha Im to my gym teammates and half of them r older than me

[Alexa Tasch]

hey when you've got it flaunt it. even if its in sports. make sure they know how awesome you are

[C.C. Marx]

haha ya but i dont wanna be labelled as the too competitive psycho chick lol

[Alexa Tasch]

but psychos are fun :)

[C.C. Marx]

Haha ya they are you have to have one psychotic friend in your life cuz well yolo

[Alexa Tasch]

ew yolo! I hate yolo! and i am that psycho friend in my group

[C.C. Marx]

Haha I know I hate it to but I just had to use it there and good for your friends they must love having you around to amuse them

[Alexa Tasch]

actually they think im condescending and wierd. But i do make them laugh a lot :)

[C.C. Marx]

Thats always good and weird people are the best haha and well as for condescending I wont deny being that way :P

[Alexa Tasch]

Its not like i try to be condescending ( i do try to be wierd) so when ever i think I might seem like it to my friends I tell the that i like their face

[C.C. Marx]

well that works i mean it just happens i don't mean to be I just say things that probably make me look that way

[Alexa Tasch]

Same here! I didn't even know they felt that way until we were playing truth or dare. They also said I like to be right too often, but when I say "we have no school wednesday" they tell me im wrong so I tell them why I thought we had school wednesday, but maybe they are right and they yell at me that I need to stop arguing

[C.C. Marx]

Omg same I love arguing and getting the last word (wrote a poem about that) and the fact i can't keep my mouth shut and I love being right and people say I always say things like I know what I'm talking about even if they are wrong

[C.C. Marx]

*I am wrong

[Alexa Tasch]

I like to argue too! I almost wanted to go to college to be a lawyer, but I try not to argue with my friends because they get mad

[C.C. Marx]

at one point i wanted to be a lawyer too lol and well I'm great at arguing lol and my friends don't really care cuz most of them are too lazy to argue back cuz they know i love to win :P

[Alexa Tasch]

lol are you right most of the time?

[C.C. Marx]

usually but i don't like to admit when I'm wrong so i talk about things like I know I'm right so people don't question me :P

[Alexa Tasch]

I'm usually wrong :P

[C.C. Marx]

that's ok just pretend that u arent and most people are stupid to know the difference if you say it in a certain way :)

[Alexa Tasch]

lol you're right in your own little world

[C.C. Marx]

Is there a difference :p

[Alexa Tasch]

yeah, your world is better

[C.C. Marx]

sometimes but sometimes I need to get out of there it can be a scary place *shudders*

[Alexa Tasch]

As long as you're allowed in. Its be pretty sad if you wre banished

[C.C. Marx]

I know that would be an all time low if your not even allowed in your mind

[Alexa Tasch]

I wonder if some people have that problem

[C.C. Marx]

It makes you think, but who could have the authority to banish you from your mind? maybe a split personality? that would make an interesting story haha

[Alexa Tasch]

what if you have an arguement with yourself and it ends in banishment

[C.C. Marx]

I tend not to argue with myself....in public at least

[Alexa Tasch]

lol that might be a little awkward

[C.C. Marx]

just a little bit I mean I wouldn't want anyone thinking I'm an escaped mental patient

[Alexa Tasch]

I would! Just to freak people out

[C.C. Marx]

haha ok you do that in a mall or something just to freak people out...I will come and watch

[Alexa Tasch]

ok but it has to be a popular mall witth a lot of people

[C.C. Marx]

Wait you live in RI right? Hb Providence Place?

[Alexa Tasch]

That would work! And we can catch a P bruins game while we're at it!

[C.C. Marx]

Haha ya except I prefer the real Bruins lol but I guess I will settle it might be a drive though hmmm

[Alexa Tasch]

I prefer the real Bruins too, but the lockout kills that

[C.C. Marx]

I KNOW NOW I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR BASKETBALL NOT OK

[Alexa Tasch]

I hate every sport but hockey so im reading to pass the time

[C.C. Marx]

Im all out of money on my kindle :(

[Alexa Tasch]

:( My nook wont hook up to my gift cards so I have to use my parents credit card. they said it was ok and long as i dont buy more than 1 book a month or manga

[C.C. Marx]

Ahhh lucky I have my own account for my kindle and my ipod touch and if I have no gift cards, I'm not getting anything

[Alexa Tasch]

maybe magical money will appear at your house tonight! Riding on a unicorn that you can pawn for more money!!

[C.C. Marx]

Haha I wish report cards are coming out soon so money there hmm

[Alexa Tasch]

I got mine today

[C.C. Marx]

OOOOOO HOW'D YA DO? :P

[Alexa Tasch]

4 bs and 3 as !!! WOOOOOO!!

[C.C. Marx]

nice nice Idk what I'm getting cuz I'm getting it tomorrow but I'm hoping for all A's

[Alexa Tasch]

ah you sound smart you'll be fine

[C.C. Marx]

Maybe I'm glad I have you to believe in me :P

[Alexa Tasch]

I believe in a lot of things. Like fairies and magic and imaginary friends!

[C.C. Marx]

Imaginary friends r the best they r always there to listen

[Alexa Tasch]

I was dared to have one for the week. His name is Rutherford

[C.C. Marx]

Haha in kindergarten this girl in my class had a imaginary pet shark named jeffery I still believe she is not quite right in the head

[Alexa Tasch]

a lot of kids had imaginary animals. I only ever had people. I think imaginary animals is just wierd

[C.C. Marx]

I'm with you there except i would find it weird if the people started talking back to me

[Alexa Tasch]

I like them to talk bback. The we can have conversations

[C.C. Marx]

Yes but they scare me I don't trust them they lie

[Alexa Tasch]

but can't you control them if they're imaginary?

[C.C. Marx]

No sometimes they get out of control and its kinda scary lol

[Alexa Tasch]

too bad you cant run away from them

[C.C. Marx]

ya they kinda follow you ya know? like the voices in your mind!!

[Alexa Tasch]

I know!! Like what is their problem?