hidden foe

heart clenching

throat constricting

why must it be so?

chaotic silence

glancing eyes

papers flitting to and fro

foot tapping

thunder clapping

let me go let me go

lungs aching

breath quaking

leave me alone i don't know

voices screaming

raspy whispers

hands grasping, above below

jaw setting

blood pumping

dreams away i throw

running screaming

heavy breathing

insanity does blow

muscles springing

vision fading

chaos comes grows and grows

chills rising

spine tingling

cursed by hidden foe

Reviews

[Rob Santana]

Really cool piece. Adrenaline rush from beginning to end! Actually reads like some cool lyrics.

[marie]

thank you so much:) i'm glad you liked it:)

[CreativeStroke]

I liked the intensity that kept building upon each stanza. Really gave the piece a quickness and power to it. Loved the rhyming scheme you had going. It added even more depth! Well done Marie.

[marie]

Thank you:) I'm glad you like it:) just wondering but what was your favorite part?:)

[CreativeStroke]

I didn't have a particular part that I liked more. The overall poem was great :)

[RachelReaper]

so the last word in the stanza always rhymed, very clever of you. Easy to read, and very dark.

[marie]

thank you:) i'm glad you liked it:)

[RachelReaper]

:)

[marie]

:)

[Ethale Captor]

An excellent write, this is one of your better poems. I absolutely love the rhyme scheme and meter. Overall one of the best poems I have ever read.

[marie]

really?! wow coming from you that means a lot thank you!! you have no clue how much that means to me:)

[Ethale Captor]

It's not a problem. This was excellent.

[marie]

thank you:)

[Ethale Captor]

No problem.

[marie]

:)