Skeletons

Skeletons

A Poem by victoria

Skeletons in my closet
why cant i stop this?

scars on my arm
do me no harm.

friends say they care
but just cant be there

dont want to lie
just have to get by

secrets to keep
cry as i sleep.

all angel no wings
is this what life brings?

never ending why
running out of time.

want to be free
stuck within me.

judged far too much
cringe at your touch.

live day to day
stay out of the haze.

ignorant voices
making my choices.

dont care what they say
ill find my own way.

© 2010 victoria



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Reviews

its hope full sad and powerful all the quialitys of a great write well done

Posted 8 Years Ago


It doesn't matter how you get here, just that you GET HERE. ;)

truer words have yet to be spoken. eh? :) great write my friend.


l8r g8r
s.s.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I liked this piece a lot! You wrote it with genuine emotion, and I really felt the power of your passion. This was a really nicely paced piece, and I liked how it progressed. I thought that the ending was really inspiring and uplifting, and was a great way to summarise the overall message of hope in your poem. :)
~PaperHearts

Posted 8 Years Ago


A powerful poem. Those skeletons are hiding in all our closets. They sneak out to bother us on occasion. The ending is true. You must find your own way out. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


i can honestly relate to this. and thank you for the read request, this is beautiful. keep up the good work :3

Posted 8 Years Ago


An emotional write that I can relate to. I really like like the ending it leaves you with hope. Great piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very well writiin. Nice flow

Posted 8 Years Ago


Dear Victoria,

Thank you for the read request.

What first catches my attention is the separated stanzas, don't use this many stanzas so rapidly as it often will break the eye of the reader as it reads. Stanzas often separate purpose, repetition, and a reinforcing of a central theme or idea. The flow is excellent despite the stanzas. Good metaphors, primarily higher up in the poem. Make sure to correct grammatical errors like on the last stanza, I'd rephrase it as, "I don't care what they say. / I'll find my own way." Do -not- make lyrical poems. Poems can become songs but songs cannot become poems (well, inspiration of a song can.) Overall, a very well written message and a good poem that needs a little work on it.

Keep aspiring to be better and you will be. Devote yourself to words and the pen, for they are the masters of the writer. A great write. 8.7/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

Posted 8 Years Ago


shows a good example of feeling worthless and wishing you had something better to look for, but your hope is lost. Desperation showed well, great write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Emotional, raw, reality...
we all have skeletons!!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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630 Views
16 Reviews
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Added on February 13, 2010
Last Updated on February 22, 2010
Tags: skeetons, alone, unique, scared, lonley

Author

victoria
victoria

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A Poem by victoria



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