ghost

I write...and sometimes, it's because it feels like it's all I can do...

I was born in Lawton, OK. ( a place for me that has never been home.) I was immediately thrust to Europe, and settled in Italy with my Navy parents where I realized a day in preschool for the first time that I'd never fit in anywhere. The first two books I remember reading at that age...were Stephan King's IT, and Pinnochio.
Went to Georgia...got lost. (literally. But a really big dog collar/name tag with all my information on it rectified that, but then...) At age four, I was introduced to bullies, and called a "f****t" for the very first time. Got my first dog, and named her after a girl who asked me to tie her shoes everyday. First creature I ever loved...first love I ever lost. Then Chicago...and my first time to the theater...Batman Returns. (Where I fell in love with Tim Burton!...and leather...and catsuits!) After that, it's a rush of memories.
I started writing when I was 11...short stories, fantasy and science fiction. Since then I've been homeless, a w***e, a friend and many a lover, forgotten, and abused, cheated and used, praised, revered, raped and molested, someone actually thinks I am the devil, and I was once someone's entire world and life support. (I seem to have way with people.) All of these things have taken me from science fiction fantasy, to morose poetics. I was told the other day by someone I might end up sleeping with in the future that my writing is passionate, and "strangely erotic while morbid"...This describes me to a fault.

I am currently 21. I'm in the Air Force, and stationed at Barksdale AFB in Louisiana. I hate it here...but since I lost my concept of home so long ago...I don't really "like" it anywhere. I really like fruit, and music.
They are the orgasmic forces in my life. I don't want to die, though being alive is pretty horrible most times, and aweful at best, and I'd like to see the sky on fire just once. I was on deviantart (quietboy.deviantart.com), but I guess it wasn't really...motivating. I've written much poetry, and someday when I'm not so mislery, it will become a book...I will also start playing guitar once I find the will power to stop browsing chat rooms.

I feel like I'm looking for something...I don't know what it is, or if I even trust the feeling, and because of this, I feel like i may never find it...