Locked Gates

Locked Gates

A Poem by {A}shley {B}lack @-;-
"

When your heart is Broken you lock it up

"
Locked Gates

My Heart is coal, cold and black
warmth, love ,emotion I lack
Crushed one to many times my soul takes rest
Try to unlock these gates that’s your test

Once opened to a person I could trust
B***h! destroyed me, gave in to lust

Think you can complete me ?

I laugh in your face 
love isn’t a fairytale after such disgrace
locked gates, A thrown away key
no exceptions!
my heart will never be free

© 2011 {A}shley {B}lack @-;-


Author's Note

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
Short poem trying out a different tempo tell me what you think ?

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Pros: I like this tempo. Again, probably because it's closer to what I write, but we all have our preferences. Your rhyme scheme is good and adds flow to it that continues throughout the poem. And the idea is quite nice as well, something I can easily relate to. Once we get our heart broken so many times, we stop letting people close. I know I'm that way. I like the question in the middle of it and how you answer it in the following stanza as well.

Cons: None.

Overall: A well-written poem with a good idea behind it. I like it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love the pace and the rhymes you've used. I also like Opened Gates, but this is darker; I love dark poetry. I think this is an amazingly sorrowful and painful poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


this is a good piece. I loved the sorrowful content and the style... and Excellent read

Posted 13 Years Ago


First the title grabbed me, tempted me to read the poem. Then the poem took hold till the end of it. You described your pain and frustration perfectly and in a way opened yourself up long enough to help us feel that pain and frustration. At the same time giving the reader a dare. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


really good sad but good I liked it

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 4 people found this review constructive.

i felt all your emotions in this. you showed the darker side of love. it was strong and your style showed that. just amazing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I loved this. The emotions and everything.

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Such a familiar feeling to so many people, really well written

Posted 13 Years Ago


love the curiousness behind the imagery that you deliver.. its very interesting and provocative. I like the packed brevity and its contained force that drives it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


love it. i think a lot of people can relate to this. its sad to say but people that are suppose to love you dont always act the part an they end up hurting the one whos heart is on the line

Posted 13 Years Ago


..................

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 3 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

578 Views
22 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 22, 2011
Last Updated on January 22, 2011

Author

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
{A}shley {B}lack @-;-

Sheriffhales, Shropshire , United Kingdom



About
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..

Writing