Locked Gates

When your heart is Broken you lock it up

Locked Gates

My Heart is coal, cold and black

warmth, love ,emotion I lack

Crushed one to many times my soul takes rest

Try to unlock these gates that’s your test

Once opened to a person I could trust

B***h! destroyed me, gave in to lust

Think you can complete me ?

I laugh in your face 

love isn’t a fairytale after such disgrace

locked gates, A thrown away key

no exceptions!

my heart will never be free

Author's Note

Short poem trying out a different tempo tell me what you think ?

Reviews

[GamingGal]

Pros: I like this tempo. Again, probably because it's closer to what I write, but we all have our preferences. Your rhyme scheme is good and adds flow to it that continues throughout the poem. And the idea is quite nice as well, something I can easily relate to. Once we get our heart broken so many times, we stop letting people close. I know I'm that way. I like the question in the middle of it and how you answer it in the following stanza as well.

Cons: None.

Overall: A well-written poem with a good idea behind it. I like it.

[.]

thats a dark piece..but another solid write..

[northern monkey]

Breathtaking. Captures the pain, anger, frustration and isolation of lost love. Do the locked gates have one of those voice security grills, for those who want to entice you back out? Agree with Jenny, "love isn't a fairytale after such disgrace" is such a powerful line. Keep it coming Champ!

[1inMillennium]

The tempo is as cavalry marching over poor soul back - I guess She deserved it. Well done job doe the locked heart can't be a good solution for a bitter punishment . I will always choose a complete freedom and release.
The last few lines surely stated no one is entering no more but I think it is more like She is trying to go back.

[felica mariiee]

The new tempo is is good, flows very well. The classic rhyming is gentle and works good with the tempo. The picture makes the poem seem dark, but when you read it you see just true feelings set free.

[morningstar]

I like your different tempo. And the message this has too. Even though it's unfortunate some people have to feel this way, but it's true. Very dark with a a good flow to it. once again I'm impressed :D

[Cherrie Palmer]

I like the tempo it fits the topic, great job!

[A]

All hearts one day will be free, hearts can put on wings and fly away from the hurtful place they were trapped in, even the locked hearts some person out there have their keys, I enjoyed this poem simple and straight, well done

[Jenny Nelson]

Tempo works fine, especially with the emotion of anger in the piece. "Locked gates" is a perfect metaphor for "hurt once, not going to let it happen again."

"love isn’t a fairytale after such disgrace"

Favorite line, so true. Well done.

[Tate Morgan]

I like it.I tell you myself I try to keep the same tempo throughout Now dinesh and ivor would say user a different way to write They like the complicaged mathmatics of a piece to me though that is like saying a out of place comma ruins a beautiful work as if it doesnt work without the correct punctuation.And as you no doubt know I dont punctuate at all.Thereby negating the need for criticism of it. Ifeel a poem flows better on one track like melody in a song .A rhyming tempo that plays in the mind