Making the Load Light

I was on the floor, my blankets all twisted and rolled up around me. The first thought that came to my mind was that I recognized those visions. It was what I saw in the Cross World, my worst fears. My head was pounding, and I was drenched in sweat. I staggered to the door, the blankets unravelling around me in the process. I tripped over them but didn’t care. What mattered right now was fresh air.

I passed the rooms, opened the door, and went outside. While I was watching the waves continuously pound the beach, I tried to get my thoughts together. Of course, it worked, but it only made me feel worse. Feeling my hand stray towards my pocket, I panicked. Did I really want to do this? If I didn’t take my mind off of my worries right now, I would fall apart, and while I was the leader of Mortem and Dragonside, there was no way I was ever going to let that happen. This would be the best solution at the moment. Taking the blunt out of my pocket, I swore quietly. I had promised myself that I would never do this ever again. Right before I was about to light it, someone came up behind me and wrapped their hand around my waist.

Dropping so I was out of their grasp, I swept their legs out from underneath them. Stooping down, I picked them up by the front of their shirt and was about to knock them into next Tuesday when I paused.

“Nick!” I said, dropping him, and my hands flying to my mouth.

“Yeah,” he grunted.

I blushed. “I’m so sorry!” I cried, setting him down.

“It’s fine,” Nick said. “You moved faster than I could imagine. That was good. What are you doing out here?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I lied. “I came out here for some fresh air.” Nick looked at me for a second, then without warning, he picked up my hand and pressed my fingers against his.

“Your fingers are cold,” he said.

“So?” I defended.

“Castor, I know you well enough that I know that when you get scared, your ears, toes, fingers, and nose turn chillingly cold,” Nick said.

“It was just a little nightmare,” I tried to bluff.

Nick wouldn’t have any of it. “Do you honestly think that I believe that?” He asked.

I sighed. “Pollux summoned me to the Realm of the Dead,” I finally said.

Nick’s eyes narrowed slightly. “And what did he say?”

“He reminded me of all of the deaths and split families I’m responsible for,” I said. “And he also showed me how I’m an unforgivable, horrible person filled with hate.” Nick said nothing, but I knew he wanted me to continue. I folded my arms, my hair blowing across my face in the breeze. “He made me watch a possible scenario in which you would die, and I couldn’t do anything except for watch it.” Finally, I broke down. A single tear trailed down my cheek. “I let Annie die. Oh, Lords, Nick. I watched as Annie died, and I couldn’t do anything about it! I’m useless, and I’m not that strong. There’ll always be someone stronger than me!” I wiped the tear hurriedly. “Sorry,” I muttered, embarrassed all of a sudden.

Nick scooped me into his arms, his chin resting on my head. “It’s all right,” he whispered. “Tonight, you can let go of your responsibilities. You can act like a normal girl of sixteen. You can fall apart. I’ll be here to hold you together.”

And so I bawled. “D****t!” I screamed, pounding Nick’s chest. He winced slightly, but for some reason, this time, I didn’t care. “I killed Pollux! The only blood related family I had left! He had once cared about me! He had saved me from- from horrible things! Everybody thinks I’m so strong, but I couldn’t save my team! I couldn’t save Annie! And I’ve killed, Nick! And in the most brutal ways! I’ve taken showers in the blood of my enemies! Or maybe they’re not even enemies! Sometimes, they’re people that have a contract on their heads! And I tore them away from their families! I took their lives! I’ve eaten their souls! I can’t even get rid of them! They’ll stay on my life record forever! S**t, Nick! People have begged for their lives in front of me. They’ve done nothing wrong except charge a higher price because trade was difficult that week! They have families! They work, so they can survive! And I took that away!” I felt the energy subside from me as most of my rants ended. “I’m a monster! I really am! I barely have an ounce of humanity left. I killed my own parents, too.”

Nick just hugged me tighter. “Better?” He said after a moment. I nodded slightly. It did feel good to get all of that off of my chest. “Just because you have this crazy insane power doesn’t mean you’re not human,” Nick said. “You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to do whatever you can to survive, but what’s in the past is in the past. You can’t change it. Stop dwelling on it.”

I nodded and again and gave a shaky sigh of relief. “That doesn’t make it false,” I said suddenly. Why did I want him to be wrong? What was wrong with me?

Nick swatted the blunt out of my hand. “Stop saying that. The past doesn’t define who you are now,” he said.

“You should become an author,” I said jokingly.

Nick nearly smiled. “I know,” he said. We stood outside a few minutes longer before walking back inside. I climbed into my covers and fell asleep immediately, a sleep void of dreams.

 

 

 

“Mr. Wolf Ramez!” I called. The man turned our way in his stall. His face was twisted in a frown, but he forced a smile onto it when we came by.

“Hello!” He said.

“We decided to buy one of the chairs you showed us!” I said.

“Ah, excellent!” Mr. Wolf Ramez said. “Please, come this way.” He opened up the tent flap and ushered us inside and led us to his furniture. “Which one?” He asked us.

I chose a random couch and pointed at it. “That one,” I said.

“45 gold,” Wolf Ramez said. Nick counted out the money and gave it to him. He then helped Wolf Ramez carry it outside. I stepped close to Wolf Ramez to open the tent flap. While I was doing that, I allowed some of my aura to harden on the tenth plane and prick him.

Wolf Ramez abruptly dropped the couch on Nick’s toe. Nick jumped about three feet in the air and began to hobble around while cursing. It was hard to not laugh at his reaction. But it was Wolf Ramez that I was focused on.

“Are you alright?” I asked Wolf Ramez.

“Ah, yes,” he said. “It seems that something nicked me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” I said. “That might have been my ring while I was opening the flap. Here, let me help you.” I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and wiped up his blood carefully. “Sorry,” I said again.

“It’s no problem,” Wolf Ramez said. “It’s just a little scratch.” I discretely pocketed the tissue and nodded to Nick.

Nick and Wolf Ramez brought the couch outside and loaded it into our wagon. The wagon was an exceptional illusion. Everything about it was real except for the fact that it wasn’t.

“We’ll probably come back for a table or something,” I told Wolf Ramez, just as we were about to leave.

“Thank you!” Wolf Ramez said. “See you soon!” He waved us off. As soon as we got to an open space with no one around, we teleported. As soon as we landed on the beach, Nick lit the couch on fire.

“Did you see the auras surrounding it?” He said darkly.

I nodded. There had been several different auras surrounding the chair. An aura can tell anybody the gender of the person, their age, their health, and what their intents were at the time. The auras surrounding the chair were that of young children in poor health. They all had one thought on their mind: to get out of wherever they were.

“Slave labor,” I said darkly. Nick nodded. I turned and headed for the door. “I’ll start working on the poison immediately.”