Unmasked (Third chapter)

Beginning of a disaster.

Thousands of eyes fixated on me as I walked through the halls of Limmerington High School. Some girls were murmuring and whispering amongst themselves, while others were giggling and chortling, their gazes following me.

 

Feeling weird, I made way to my locker hurriedly, wanting to get rid of the weird pairs of eyes and the snickers that were directed towards me. On my way, I bumped into Nick, my crush for as long as I can remember. Fortunately, he asked me out a few days ago, and we’ve decided on going on a date tomorrow to a posh restaurant. Seeing him always enlightens my mood, and I have no idea whether this is just a normal crush or something else. All I know is that, if he wants to be in a relationship, I’ll be willingly serious about it

 

"Hey, Nick! How are you? These weirdoes are staring at me weirdly," I chuckled half-heartedly as I tried to lighten the tense environment. He didn't reply. Instead, he looked at me coldly, the same way some of the girls had glanced at me. It confused me a bit, and gradually, fear rose in my mind.

 

“Why are you so quiet?” I asked.

 

"You're so fake," he said at last, his voice barely audible. I opened my mouth to say something, but he walked away.

 

I was dumbfounded. Not able to understand the sudden change in everyone's behavior, I made my way to the first class of the day, trying to avoid making eye-contact with anyone. When I entered the class, I saw Lara sitting there in all her glory, texting away on her phone. Lara had been my enemy since I enrolled in this school. As far as I knew, she was jealous of my rapidly gained popularity and looks; perhaps she was unaware of the fact that they were not natural.

 

She snickered when she looked at me, which was very  unusual. Taking out a crumpled piece of paper from her Louis Vuitton bag, she threw it at me disrespectfully. Absorbing my rage, I picked up the paper and unfolded it. What I saw stupefied me. In a state of shock, I decided to head home.

The thing I always feared had now become reality, and I knew that I will have to bear a lot throughout my entire senior year, for this was no small matter. It was my dignity and reputation that had been put on stake. An urge of revenge made its way to my mind, and I was more determined than ever to get back at the person who had betrayed me. I had no doubt about who was behind it.

 

 

Author's Note

I found this a bit rapid. But I hope that the element of suspense is present. Please review! :)

Reviews

[WriterGirl247247]

Three great chapters in a row. The suspense is high, you end on a cliffhanger, and now we're hunger for the next chapter.

I like your introduction of Nick and Lara. I would add a physical description of both either here or later. Then it'll help paint a picture.

There are a few typos. When she talking about dating Nick, you miss a period at the end of the paragraph. And in the same sentence change "I'll" to "I'd". Since it's still presumed that they'd date, "I'd" would be in that tense.

Also change "weirdly" to "weird". It'll help your sentences flow more.

I have an inkling of who betrayed her, but won't post spoilers for anyone else. ;)

Great job as always.

[AnayaJ.]

Thanks for the suggestions as well as the review!!!!
I'll definitely go through and correct them :)))

[TheShadowsWithin]

I love the plot of the story. You write it so well, making it appear as though the character is speaking about what they are seeing or doing rather than just telling it. One thing: In the last paragraph, Erica claimed she had no idea who had done this. The last sentence claimed she had no doubt who had done it. Hope this helps :)

[AnayaJ.]

Oh God I never noticed that THANKSS

[TheShadowsWithin]

No problem!