The Old Woman in the Rain

The winds crossed the old wood fence-line,
pressing upon my door like a torrent,
as thunder rolled close on lightning's trail,
the scent of fresh earth pressed into my senses,
the rain had carried it's scent through my window pane.

The elements swirled outside my door,
as if they were all calling my name.
Swirling, whirling, how quickly they came,
the most ancient of songs, in a time void of old lore.
I touched the cold brass handle,
holding my hand on the exit to my front door.

Something terrible or magical,
I couldn't decide,
was moving me to cross the threshold,
and step outside.
The hinges creaked between thunder's roar, 
and bare toes touched the damp cedar as I raised my eyes.

The rain fell all around me, 
though it didn't touch my gaze,
like I was standing in a cyclone,
but the wind didn't want my life.
Something strange, as I looked down at the earth,
the rain wasn't falling down, it was flying into the sky.

The drops around me spiraled,
in slow motion it seemed,
as fire struck the old oak tree,
lightning appeared at it's branch's top... and unraveled up.
I felt the age of my body lifting
the aches, the pain, and the grey.

My old cotton gown whipped around my ankles,
my long hair at my back, did the same,
as all was set free, by the wind and the rain.
There was more beauty here then I'd ever tasted
as droplets softly started landing on my face,
washing all tension and wrinkles away.

Just a while ago I was a frail old woman,
locked away in her house,
with bones that cracked, and joints that ached.
I'd forgotten how it felt to be young,
and I began to move to the thunder's ancient beat,
movements... so fluid and light.

Arms raised, hips swung slowly from side to side,
I danced under the clouded skies, there in the rain,
and as freedom rang around me,
the sunlight came out again.
No longer could age limit my body,
nor could fear, misery, or pain...

Reviews

[Joe_VILOT_]

was it death
"Just a while ago I was a frail old woman,
locked away in her house,
with bones that cracked, and joints that ached.
No longer could age limit my body,
nor could fear, misery, or pain..." a curse of renouncing the old way
just wondering what it was the meaning behind this.
enjoyed the patterns it cast across the mind going through the passage
an original take on an old problem neatly done :)

[Aramey]

It was a positive spin on death, the reversal of age, and like most of us- I ponder the possibilities. This came to me as a sort of daydream. Thank you for stopping to read :)

[Justin]

Arms raised, hips swung slowly from side to side,
I danced under the clouded skies, there in the rain,
and as freedom rang around me,
the sunlight came out again.
No longer could age limit my body,
nor could fear, misery, or pain..." my favorite part

[Aramey]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed :) I really tried to give this one a positive end.

[LJW]

This would read so much better as a short story.

I did like the imagery and the story.

[Aramey]

I'm thinking of making this one into a short story, that is a really good suggestion, thank you :)

[A.N Hunter]

I really love this poem very beautiful work!

[Devesh]

I agree with Everett, the imagery really is breathtaking. I was building a picture in my head as I read and it was beautiful! This, however, was my favourite:

"The rain fell all around me,
though it didn't touch my gaze,
like I was standing in a cyclone,
but the wind didn't want my life.
Something strange, as I looked down at the earth,
the rain wasn't falling down, it was flying into the sky."

How can anyone write this? Amazing!

[Aramey]

I'm so glad you enjoyed this one, it has always been one of my favorites. I'm thinking of writing a series of surreal short stories, including a version of this. All the positive feedback is making a wonderful driving force in doing so. So, thank you :)

[Devesh]

All the best for the series! You're most welcome :)

[Babe Roxx]

I truly enjoyed the story in your poem and the imagery you display is stunning...Excellent. :)

[Aramey]

Thank you :) I was thinking of making this one into a short story. So glad you enjoy the imagery because I wasn't sure if I was overdoing it in this one.

[Babe Roxx]

You are very welcome, Aramey...actually, you can make this prose...and the imagery is stellar. ;)

[Kelly Scheppers]

I love how her soul lifted her up to the heavens...no longer bound, and free of pain...how you brought the realization of it, to your reader. A beautiful rendering, Aramey!

[Aramey]

Thank you so much for the compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed and stopped in to read :)