Mid Life Crisis

CHAPTER

 

            When Lee spotted Willy, he tensed and the horse underneath him jittered sideways.  He made himself relax his legs to calm his horse, but it didn’t help the agony he felt. 

From the time Willy had been big enough to sit her own horse she’d followed Lee on his weekly ride.  She’d been about six the first time he’d towed her pony along behind his much bigger horse as he rode the fence line.  After that she’d been the bad penny he couldn’t get rid of.  Every Saturday she’d been waiting with her pony.  Lee hadn’t minded the company.  He indulged her as an orphan and the baby of her adopted family. 

She would chat and laugh and sing at the top of her lungs.  Occasionally as a special treat he’d throw in a picnic lunch just to surprise her.  Sometimes Michelle and or Kirk would join them and that was fun, but most often it was only the two of them. 

It had been their Saturday tradition all these years.  Occasionally they would find an area of downed fence, but mostly it was a good excuse to ride and enjoy the scenery.  When Lee had gone off to college he missed their Saturday morning rides.  When he returned they slid back into the routine like a comfortable pair of shoes.  Now he’d broken that sacred tradition by bringing Camille along. 

He knew Willy wouldn’t be happy to see Camille on their Saturday morning ride, and he blamed his dad for the awkward position that left him in. So far Camille’s pattern had been to sleep in late most mornings, but this morning she’d opted to come down early enough to join him and his father for breakfast.  She’d listened as his father spoke of the pleasure he gained from seeing the land on horseback.  Lee had to stifle a groan as his father romanticized horseback riding.

Lee understood that his dad missed riding, but it wasn’t until Leland asked Camille if she rode that Lee realized what was going on.  Camille admitted that her parents had enrolled her in lessons when she was a child, but she hadn’t ridden in years. 

His dad had looked at Lee purposely as if he expected Lee to offer to take Camille riding.  Until this point Camille had shown almost no interest in the horses, and Lee was content to leave it that way.  The horses were Willy’s domain.  Since bad things tended to happen when the two women were together Lee had no intention of inviting Camille to ride. 

When Lee didn’t step up though and offer his dad offered to take Camille riding around the ranch himself.  Lee pointed that out to his father that the doctors had told him to stay off the horses.  Unfortunately the only thing that this accomplished was his dad suggesting that he takes Camille riding in her place.  Before he knew it, he was saddling the most placid mount they had for Camille, and waiting to see what Willy’s response would be to find Camille on their Saturday morning ride. 

            Silhouetted against the morning sunrise, Willy and her horse had an almost ethereal appearance.  With her face in the shadow he couldn’t read the expression on her face.  Beside him Camille was doing her best to stay in the saddle on working Quarter Horse’s big trot.  He gave her credit for trying, but he knew how awkward the poor woman must look to Willy who sat atop her gelding as if they were one animal. 

Willy didn’t say anything when they slowed their horses to a stop in front of her.  Her white teeth caught the corner of her lip, worrying at it as if she couldn’t decide whether to speak or not.  Her blue eyes flickered uncertainly between him and Camille.  He couldn’t read the expression on her face.  She appeared as if she was either going to laugh or cry.  Neither response seemed appropriate for her. 

“Camille is going to join us today.”

“You don’t have your tools.”

            “True, but you didn’t forget yours.  I think we’ll be okay.”

“I don’t have the stretcher.”

“I think we can do without it.  Let’s just consider this a nice little ride.”

“Seems pointless if we don’t have the right tools.”

If he could just get them moving he thought Willy would relax.   “As the boss I say we just enjoy ourselves today.” 

“You need to remember your father is still alive,” she snarled.  “You’re not the king of the castle yet, unless you think sleeping with that queen makes you one.” 

She spurred her gelding forward and between his and Camille’s horses.  The flank of her horse brushed the nose of the horse he rode, and the already nervous horse reared partway and spun.  It took a moment before he got the horse under control.  

            “You can fire her for saying stuff like that to you, can’t you?” 

Lee followed Camille’s gaze where Willy rode her horse for the barn yard at a mad gallop.  He snorted and shook his head. Willy belonged here.  He couldn’t even fire her if he wanted to.  The Box Double L was her home.  It always had been and it always would be.       

            Eventually one day things might change.  She could decide to take a job more in line with her schooling or she could find the perfect man, get married and move away.  But if she left…it would be by her choice, not by his. 

This volatile personality didn’t belong to Willy.  After their confrontation over Camille’s shoe earlier in the week she’d been avoiding him.  Now this production. What would be next?

 

 

            At dinner that evening everyone played musical chairs again and Willy found she sat directly across from Lee.  She refused to look him in the eye for fear she’d see disappointment and anger there.  She wondered if anyone else noticed the undercurrents running between Lee and her or if she made them up in her own mind. 

She knew he had to be still fuming over her comment.  If the situation had been reversed, she knew she would still be angry.  She’d felt betrayed seeing Lee and Camille riding together on what she’d come to think of as their Saturdays, but she had been out of line to sling that comment at him.

After she’d calmed down she realized she shouldn’t and couldn’t be obsessive about the day.  When Lee got married he’d spend Saturdays with his wife �" not fixing fence with her.  And if he ever had kids he’d take them along and she wouldn’t even be needed.  She knew that day would come someday if she was still here.  In fact, two years ago when Lee was engaged she’d never even thought about it, let alone let it bother her. 

She needed to apologize to make herself feel better.  She wanted to repair the damage she’d done but avoiding the situation seemed easier. 

Willy frowned as she watched Camille tease Leland, opening flirting with the old man.  Did Leland really see Camille as Lee’s wife to be?  Camille was pretty in an overdone sort of way.  Her hair seemed too blond, her curves too dramatic, and her manners too perfect.  Leland seemed to enjoy her company though.  In fact, since Camille had arrived Leland seemed to feel well enough to attend most dinners. 

Yet Willy didn’t see how a woman like Camille could belong on the ranch.  She’d shown almost zero interest in anything that went on here.  The only things she seemed to care about were flirting with the men and being pampered.  Didn’t Leland see that?  Lee’s mother had left when Lee was less than a year old because she wanted bigger and better things than a South Dakota cattle ranch.  From what Willy had heard the woman never looked back.  She imagined Camille would feel the same way if she was ever had to stay here for any real length of time.

            Willy studied Lee thoughtfully.  At an age when most men were married he still remained single.  She had known many of the women Lee had dated over the years.  Some he’d dated only in passing, but there had been a couple relationships that lasted several years. Those that had were women that had grown up around ranching and were sympathetic and understanding to the long and demanding amount of hours that ranching took.   Eventually the attraction faded and the relationship came to an end.  Lee still remained one of the most eligible bachelors in the area.

            Willy could see why women were attracted to him.  He stood an inch shy of six feet.  He combined power and finesse in every movement.  He had a body honed by hard work.  His face bordered on beautiful.  Classic simple lines, a hard jaw, chiseled cheek bones accented by deep brown eyes, a straight nose, and nice lips.  But more important than his looks was the good inside of him.  Lee had a highly developed sense of right or wrong, worked hard, and would bend over backwards for his family and friends.  Abandoning everything for a woman like Camille seemed out of character for him.  Maybe Camille was a selfish stage. 

            “Do all men go through a mid-life crisis?”  Willy asked.  Heads around the tables lifted from the pork roast Maria had prepared to focus on Willy.   Only then did Willy realize she’d spoken out loud.   

“I think it depends on the man,” Leland offered thoughtfully.  Clint took a sip of his coffee to hide his smile.

            She’d leaped in with both feet, so she might as well continue.  “Do you think mid-thirties is too young?”

             “Well- I don’t know….”  Leland drawled out cautiously even as he glanced at his son. The corners of Lee’s mouth faded to near white from the force he used to keep his mouth shut.  Clint’s broke into a coughing fit as the coffee he sucked in in surprise burnt his throat. 

            After that, dinner remained a strained affair.  Willy’s stomach turned nervously making Maria’s food stick in her throat.  She been unable to control her outburst and now regretted it.  She sighed and pushed away her plate.  She opted to make a break for it.  She said good night to everyone and retreated to her apartment.  Part of her felt relieved when Lee didn’t follow her, but the other part hoped he did so they could have the fight that brewed between them.

 

 

            Lee stood with his hands stuffed in his back pockets and stared broodingly through the big picture window at Willy’s apartment.  He didn’t have to turn around to know his father had joined him.  The quiet, cautious steps spoke volumes in the silent room. 

            “What has gotten into her?”  He asked his father without turning away from the window. 

            “Things have been a certain way for a long time.  Change hits her hard.”

            “What’s changed? All right.  Troy and Camille.  I get that, but Troy left because he had to.  I’m the one who’s forced to spend days on end with Camille.”

            “I invited her here.”

            “I haven’t forgotten.  When is she leaving?”

            “We simply can’t ask her to leave.  It was an open ended invite and until she gets on her feet.”

            “What does that mean anyway?”

            “I thought Willy was your problem.”

            “She is!  She’s acting like a twelve year old!”

When his dad didn’t say anything Lee turned to face him.  He pretended not to see the fragile way his father held himself.  Instead he concentrated on the all-knowing expression on his dad’s face.

 Lee sighed.  “What?”

            “Maybe she’s jealous,” Leland supplied thoughtfully.

            Lee laughed. He knew where his father was going with this, but if he admitted that he knew then that would mean admitting he had feelings other than that of a brother towards Willy.  He played dumb.  “Of what?  It’s not like Camille is going to take her job away.”

            The old man gritted his teeth.  “I don’t think its job related.  I think she’s jealous of the amount of time you’re spending with Camille.”

            “That makes no sense.” 

In order for that to make sense than Willy had to feel more for him than she admitted to as well.  Lee didn’t like thinking that because it opened up too many questions in his own mind about the future.

            “You are and have always been a constant in her life.  She looks up to you, craves that attention you give her.”

            “I see her every day!  We work together.  I don’t treat her any differently than I ever have.” 

He made sure he didn’t.  He didn’t ever want things to be awkward on the ranch, and by keeping his thoughts to himself he ensured that they weren’t. 

“Maybe you should.”

            “Excuse me?” 

            “I’m just saying.”

            “Saying what?”

His father remained silent and he had to speculate on his own.  “She’s never acted like this when I’ve been involved with someone before.  Besides it’s not… You’re the one who invited Camille here!  Willy’s behavior is your fault.”

             “Maybe you should spend some quality time with her.”