Inside My Room

This was LITERALLY written in ten minutes during class when we were prompted to "write about yourselves using an object/place that defines you"...

 

If you looked inside my room today,

You’d see carpet that isn’t white,

Lavender paint and a thousand pictures,

And these lace curtains I don’t like.

You’d see a pink shell by the window,

And peacock feathers on my mirror,

A coin dish filled with bobby pins,

…those always disappear.

 

If you stepped inside my room today,

You’d know just who I am,

My name painted in swimming dolphins,

A gift from an old Asian man.

You’d find a blue vase with no flowers,

And yellow box on the floor,

This antique ring on a CD case,

Pencil sketches on my door.

 

If you walked inside my room today,

You’d trip over clothes that aren’t mine,

You’d wonder why there’s soda cans on my dresser,

Placed in a straight line.

You’d feel the softness of my pillow,

The ‘best in the house’, I’ve heard,

You’d see a picture of jasmine flowers,

And a toucan, my favorite bird.

 

If you walked inside my room today,

I bet you’d notice in a flash,

I want to travel everywhere,

(If only I had the cash)

You’d see the bottles of perfume,

Mostly amber in their shade,

A folder of old music,

For the harp I used to play.

You’d stumble into an electronic fan,

That I cannot sleep without,

You’d see this creepy stuffed bear on my shelf,

That sings when the string’s pulled down.

 

If you sat inside my room today,

On that creamy, broken chair,

You’d laugh at the brush that’s on the floor,

Consumed with my long hair.

You’d see a bright red Chinese purse,

Hanging off a pin,

Inside a broken pair of glasses,

That I would never wear again.

 

If you stood inside my room today,

You’d see an old and tainted clock,

The minute hand pointing down at the floor…

Broken; the batteries are out of stock.

You’d see a wallet with no money,

A drawer without a pull,

Maps of many different nations,

A jar of makeup that’s still full.

 

And you’d see with every splash of color,

every shadow from the day,

My room is the place to be,

when I want to get away.

 

Author's Note

This was LITERALLY written in ten minutes during class when we were prompted to "write about yourselves using an object/place that defines you"...so...point being, this is not all deep, dark, and twist like the rest of my writing...just kind of splashy & light.

Reviews

[Make An Exception]

Read the reviews below.. i don't know what they're talking about, i LOVED the poem! lol :) Not all poetry has to be deep.. sometimes it's the simple words that are written down that make a poem wonderful in it's own way. And your room sounds like a place i'd like to be in.. lol

[-Scribe in Style-]

A bedroom does define a person, and you sure showed who you are in ten minutes!

[Rene Velez]

that was awesome the imagery is incredibly descriptive, nice job...

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

You may have written this in ten minutes but you shared much of who you are and did a fantastic job in the process.

[Chris]

This is very fascinating. The flow is smooth. Not one jagged edge.

Simple complexity. This is what I call this style of writing.

Very well done especially considering the fact that it was done in a short amount of time.

[J.A.N]

very, very vivid. I loved this, I have never read a poem like this before!

[yashsickle]

I loved how simple it is but yet so complicated. Our rooms are manifestations of ourselves. Not to many people look around and their room and study it in detail for the very same reason they don't look inside themselves. I loved it though.

[Akoka Folami]

Honestly... for some reason its one of my favorite poems! I don't know why. I can feel the splashes of color. And you portray room with honest words -haha at the hairs enveloping the brush XD- And the room seems almost like a friend, sort of like those rare people that knows your weaknesses and faults.
I suppose, even though you wrote this only it 10 minutes, there is a lot of deep and intriguing things about it!! I LOVE IT!

[Kyla H]

This is so very fascinating, it gives us an insight to who you really are. Very nicely done!

[Sherwette]

girl you are messy! I loved it :)

[☯]

I really loved this! I really felt the warmness and secretive intro into this. I felt like I was actually in your room, and looking through everything. I love the way you described everything in such a laidback way, like soft waves, and the heat you conveyed in the poem really took an effect. I really really loved the flow of words in this, and when you said:
"A coin dish filled with bobby pins,
…those always disappear."
I was smiling because this is exactly what happens to me. I also liked how you set your dreams and ambitions towards this poem. I really think you've captured the warm essence and light feel. Amazing job, magnificent write! :)