Nail in the Coffin

Tensions flare as the clock tic's down

 

(R)alphie is Muffin, 

(H)aresh Daswani is Gigo http://www.writerscafe.org/link/302620/

(J) James Reider is Macho http://www.writerscafe.org/link/302621/

 

 

 

 

9:15 am Thursday.

 

The bank traffic seemed extremely heavy today. I do not think they are depositing but quite the contrary, which means we need to expedite this heist. As I approached the new account section, the account rep, Naomi Pluasure, motioned me to take a seat in the waiting room.

On the tabletop were many magazines, although one that featured top fashion models in sexy swimsuits caught my eye…I reached down to adjust my crouch to allow room for growth. As I glanced at account tellers, I could see a particular woman withdrawing a large amount. I was puzzled why the sudden increase in withdrawals as another customer remarked she wanted to withdraw also.

Macho was right about the cameras so far, and each of them were spaced to overlap each other. Without knowing this vital piece, it could increase the risk of faultier plans. Although, this poses a dilemma, all we need to do is find a common point to blind the cameras.

Naomi walked me into her office to fill out the required forms and introduced herself as Naomi Pluasure, pronounced “pleasure.” After a few minutes, she walked me to the deposit section and instructed me to return after completion. 

Naomi, I called from the distance…I’m ready, as I handed her the receipt.

Wow, she said, that is a rather large deposit.

Actually, this brings me to some questions. Are my deposits federal insured and by how much.

All of our deposits are government backed up to 100 thousand dollars, and we have a strict guideline to follow, at least in accordance with the federal law.

That’s great to hear, Naomi, what else do you have to show me relating to the deposit, how about a tour. 

Sure, everywhere except the vault. For security reasons we are not allowed to show clients inside the vault.

As we walked down towards the vault, I handed Naomi one of my pens, as she gladly reached for it; I started the camera recording. Naomi pressed her code into the keypad and entered the vault with my deposit; returning shortly thereafter. 

In Naomi’s office, she placed the pen down on her mahogany desk and walked to the front to get so extra pamphlets, so I took this opportunity to I exchanged her pen with a phony one. When she returned, we concluded the tour and she informed me I would hear from her soon…

I thought to myself, Gigo needs to hack into the computer to make this work but since neither Macho nor I are familiar with this type system, he’ll have to make a deposit also.

 

 

 

*tik tik tik tik, tik tik, tik* SMS seems to be a better way to get these guys to come. "3 PM today, same Cafe. Bring notes, copies of Manuals of their security system found in Google, do not buy it from Ebay, we might get traced."

We have to keep ourselves untraceable. If any of our plots get caught, the whole operation gets foiled. These notes will have to be encoded, kept vague, and yet only we can comprehend.

It is best to code our entire step by step plan into a children's book story. Keep it coded.

I need to smoke and think this over.

They better get here fast, I think those guards are starting to become familiar with our looks, and he does not seem to be very pleased by what he sees.

This all has to happen 4 days from now, all training will have to be done in a warehouse Muffin suggested. I think we have to start prepping it up.

"Do you mind? I do not want to get lung cancer because some idiot wants to kill himself with that filthy habit", replied a snobbish stranger. "Road is long and large, go stand there, I think you deserve Carbon Monoxide from these vehicles instead, will help kill you faster, at least for my sake", I replied, pissed off at how that b***h just had to be a b***h.

 

I arrived at the cafe right as Gigo was having a disagreement with some lady about the environment or some garbage. I approached the lady and said "Do you have a problem with my friend?"

"I don't want to be a part of his dirty habit." She responded.

"How about you keep your nose in your own business? Or I can break it for you..."

"You would put punch a woman?"

"I would f****n deck Motha Theresa if her interests crossed with mine."

"I have no problem."

I glare at her one more time, and angrily retracted myself from her table. Why the f**k is Gigo smoking in here anyway? Well, it’s none of my business. If that makes this go off smoother, then he can smoke until his nerdy little heart is content.

"Gigo... I forgot to mention an idea I had. Where the f**k is Muffin? Anyway, in the deposit room that I was in, there was an air vent. If we can smuggle spray paint into the bank, I can go in first in a disguise on the day of the heist and blot out the front cameras. We will need to find a way past the vault cameras, as two of them cross each other too much to safely erase. Or we could just get one of those clever electric devices that scrambles the signals too. Never mind, I don't get paid to think."

Author's Note

More to come

Reviews

[Ice QueenJen]

this was a good story--- to bad I didn't read it long ago!

[Angela]

Okay Ralphie, this is a lot better. The storyline is coming along nicely. I like the way that Muffin interacts with the accounts rep, and who's name is pluasure and the sexy magazines on the tables. You guys have given this a lot of thought and provided a lot of detail. Can't wait to see how this all turns out. Nice job.

[JC]

I agree with Kena, the first paragraph needs to have to dialogue within quotations. It would be more in keeping with the rest of the story.

This chapter seems to gell better. I do like the plot development, and how the charactors are expanding.

JC

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Nice job. the characters are very believable. Gigo seems like a jerk. but.hey....makes me want to read more. here is one criticism:


How come you don't use quotation marks around the dialogue? You probably should, but I wasn't sure if you were making a creative point...

[Pj]

I sincerely hope that Muffin stops mixing business with pleasure- wouldn't want parts of himself....getting caught in the vault...lol although that would mean more money for the other 2 hehehe

Loved the whole crime fiction noir that I got from the smoking- very cool :) Nicely played