The Silence Before the Storm

Human's self destruction. first song i wrote as a teenager

World full of destruction

Humans acting like gods

Taking all by force

Their hands are full of blood

Meaningless words are spoken

No one left to trust

They feel safe and warm

But this is only the silence before the storm

 

Chorus:

The storm is coming

The silence is gone

The lightning is striking

Look what you've done

 

After ages of existense

The self destruction came to an and

Brutal violent and horrors

Are the only languages that people know?

There is no remorse

For all the sins should be rewards

For all their acts they must pay

The storm will give them a taste of hell

 

 Chorus

 

Hide!!!!!

 

Look what you've done

 

 

Reviews

[Ursula Kay Vos]

When read all together the piece does come together. There is a small amount of forced rhyming, minor typo here on line 6 of the third stanza(should be reward). Silly keyboards!! However those things are minor!! The part I may caution you to, * disclaimer I often come with ;) IM OPIONIONATED and it's only my opinion!* I would have gone ahead and written out your chorus again for continuity After that third stanza.
So all together I'll say you've got a good read here and to give them a once over before you put them out there for others to read. Presenting a finished, and appetizing piece is almost as important as the content ;)
UKV

[Ray]

very good, but I "hate" it : it sounds too much like the truth concerning this world... !!! ** :)

[Ursula Kay Vos]

It's a good piece, let me know when you've added the additional chorus! I would love to see what you'll do with it :)
UKV

[Balance]

Thank you for your time! i wrote it in 10 mins and i was 15 years old...not to mention that originally i dont speak english ;)

basicly there is anothe chorus ill add it....ill try to change the rest :)