Chapter 1: Happiness

What does it mean to be to happy?

Relationships: Lesson 1
What does it all mean?
And why, do you need one?

I'm sure you've met, "those" type of people. Those, "I'm so lonely, I need someone to make me complete!" type of people. And you ask yourself, "Why are you so DESPERATE, for that connection?" You know that saying, “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”? I have to call bullshit on that. Because, without love, what are you? You are still human, your heart isn't going to suddenly give out on you because your single. But get with that wrong someone, let them break your heart, and love will be the last thing on your mind.  Stressing about being lonely, yeah that might give you a heart attack. Relationships aren't for everyone, and sitting there looking to change yourself for someone else, isn't love either. Love is accepting someone else for their mistakes and flaws, knowing that perfection should be a unknown term to the both of you. Growing and understanding one another to a point where you will be thinking about a tune your head and your partner will start singing it. That's love.

Here are a few tips to follow BEFORE seeking out a partner.

1. Are you happy?

 - If you aren't happy with yourself, being alone with yourself, you aren't going to make your partner happy. You are going to be so desperate for their attention and their emotional approval, that you are going to push your partner away with need. You are going to UNKNOWINGLY beg for their approval and when you think they might not be happy with you, it's going to make you sink even lower into the pit your swimming in. And what you think might be "love" is actually a cry for help. You are looking to fill a bottomless hole that can't be filled. Because happiness is not something your partner should have to give you, you, yourself can be the only one to make yourself whole. It's like when you first start out in a relationship, you are excited and everything is singing to you.

 - The tress, the grass, and the sun shines only for you. But that relationship ends suddenly and you are left sitting there wondering, "what happened". As a selfish human, you desire, you crave that feeling again, that happiness, that emotion that made you feel unstoppable. So what do you do? You go off looking, jumping from relationship to relationship without feeling truly satisfied. What you need to understand, is that your partner is only an extinction of yourself, without them, you are still you. It might feel like a chuck is missing, but look in the mirror and you will still see your body intact. So be happy before getting into a relationship. Know what happiness is. AND when you are looking for the "right" relationship, your partner should never knowingly make you feel worse about anything.

How can I get happy, Ms. Simmons?

 - That's a good question, thank you for asking. What is something, you really enjoy? And I mean, this activity can keep you busy for hours and you would enjoy every last second of it. That is pure happiness. But lets find something else, what is another thing you really enjoy? Lets use me as an example. I really enjoy reading. I got interested back when I was younger while in a school for bad children, with NOTHING to do, I picked up a book. And before I knew it, three hours were gone and I still wanted to read more. It felt almost addictive, I couldn't wait to turn to the next page. I was excited. And I thought, I knew what happiness was, but this, was something so new to me. After a few months, reading was okay.
 
- I wasn't jumping to get another book, but I didn't turn one away. And then I found something, something that changed me forever. Writing stories. I never thought I had a talent but holy cow, there I was typing up my own fantasy novels. I'm not famous, but I think I could be if I tried. But then my love would become my job, and some times that isn't the way to go. But, I know what happiness is. That emotion I felt while writing and creating worlds and people and giving them a story, we humans, would only dream of. That rush. If you have this emotion. You are ready for lesson two.

What if you aren't sure, you like some things, but nothing really keeps your focus?

  - That is a sign, that says, "I'm not enjoying myself". Your brain isn't getting stimulated enough. Every day things you normally did that made you happy, have now became a chore. You do it, because you are used to the same old thing. Like sitting on the couch, watching TV; a rerun comes on of your favorite show, you are happy but not excited because you already know what is going to happen. But, up next is a new episode and it hints someone might be dying. Who? How? What's going to happen? You need to know, and that rush of excitement that over comes you. You could run around the house three times in under a minute from all that energy. You watch the show, excited and when it's over slowly but surely the emotion starts to fade and you go back to what you were doing in the first place, watching the same old same old.

 - What you need, is to find something that can give you that rush naturally. Don't go sniffing paint, that is going to give you a headache and if someone catches you, Good Lord, help you. Go out a try to find something you really enjoy. Note, that you should go free or go home. Don't spend money on crap that you think "might" make you happy and fill that hole. Look for something simple but pleasing. Make a list of things that make you happy, then name off some actions that involve that activity. Go through the list one by one. Pay attention to how it makes you feel. Take the two you enjoyed the most and ask yourself, how can I make this better? You are on your way to happiness.

A list of activities

1. Reading
2. Drawing
3. Writing
4. Blogging
5. Painting
6. Working Out
7. Gaming

Author's Note

What are some things you like to do in your spare time?