Drowning (senryu)

Gasping for air
fearing it might disappear
i sink beneath

water filled lungs
going down all the way
no bottom reached

for eternity, gone
forgotten by loved ones
i linger here

Gasping for air
nothing's left but pain
drowning in grief

i sink beneath
soul stuck in the middle
i sink beneath

Author's Note

believe it or not, this was fun to write XD
i really did feel the water in my mouth while writing this XD
not doimg anything stupid though

Reviews

[s y e]

This was really well done. I enjoyed, a lovely write

[Salar Majak]

thanks

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

pls stay

[Salar Majak]

XD it really was fun to write i almost felt the water in my mouth, i'm staying though!!! welcome back poetry Kiddo!

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

yes..be warm n safe

[Jack...]

Very nicely done. You kept the theme and the format intact throughout. Very nice indeed.

[Salar Majak]

thank you!!! i'm glad you like it

[featherstoflight]

this was a really beautiful visual!

[Salar Majak]

thank you!

[Pete Langley]

I very much enjoyed the interwoven threads of thought and emotion. Thanks, Aurora. P.

[Salar Majak]

thanks!

[Junert]

Nice too.

[Salar Majak]

thanks

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well. I like the description. Allowed the reader to feel the emotion of sinking and gasping for air. No weakness in the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Salar Majak]

thank you!! i appreciate it!

[AdorableDreams]

Very deep! Good job!

[Salar Majak]

thank you!!!