GREEN EYES

BREVITY POEM

I slip on a moss-covered rock

lift my droopy hair

peer at a gentleman's green eyes

the color of ripe olives.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I think this is a perfectly original, sparkling, expressive poem. That being said, let me expound upon my "color" issues. I pretty much hate it when poets rely on the primary colors. I love the use of words like "moss" and "olive" and "sage" . . . & your title is so forgettable using the word "green" . . . okay, so that's my color hangup & you can do with it what you want! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Lea Sheryn]

Lovely! A well stated descriptive piece in a few words.

[Chris Shaw]

Brevity paves the way for much thought. I am wondering about all the possibilities in those green olive like eyes. A visual write and most enjoyed. Knight in shining armour comes to mind, to rescue fair maiden.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and maybe sip a martini while watching him?
visual and nice use of that color...green is a color too often ignored.
j.