NOTABLE DISPLEASURE

relationships, war

NOTABLE DISPLEASURE

 

I reach the bridge

As blue clouds shield a brilliant sunset

I trod over the wooden planks

A bubbling stream below

Its mellifluous notes catch my breath

Tis my respite, my meandering mind

 

I lean on the old wooden railing

My notions engage

I am smitten over his presumption

I shall tarry with his dignity

By means of his absence

I note his expectations of me are foolish

 

Tears embark on utter screams

That he has misconstrued our separation

He drifts with his soldier buddies

While I waft alone with my dreams

If he truly cherishes me

He shall commiserate sorrow

 

I sense a pungent aroma nearby

I gently pick a rose off a bush

And breathe in a mesmerizing scent

 

My mind still dubious

I wander down the path

Drinking in all of nature that I see

Yet in my mind’s back door

There is notable displeasure

 

Author's Note

part of a series "At Bridges End"

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Your use of words is way past casual, they have that past tense intelligence and elegance that really is literary plus.. must use this word: brilliant. Has a nineteenth century ring which I find endearing. You really are a true poet in the traditional style with this series. Must catch up with the others, Betty, as soon as can.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you my dear friend...you reviews are better than my poems!
Hugs
B

[emmajoygreen]

LAughing... how on earth can you say that, naughty friend. You are a superb poet, I dear lady, am a scribbler who tried hard! My pleasure to read and review, always.

[Betty Hermelee]

you're very welcome my dear friend!
Best, B

[Dave Brown]

I actually have trouble commenting on these (chapters??) because my flippant nature always has a difficult to control, less than serious, remark at the ready.
Let me at least first say, I think the image is striking. altho not nearly gay as would be Paree, and secondly, I hope "he" doesn't turn out to be some kind of callous cad.
Also, I am impressed with the word (sp?) mellifluous (This being an educational moment as it is the first time I have ever seen this word used) and feel it deserves its very own, stand alone, poem

[Betty Hermelee]

I'll that great compliment my friend... and an excellent review!
BESTB

[W. Barrett Munn]

Betty, this is really good. I place it in the lyric/narrative category.

Winston

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Winston, a great review, whatever category you put it in.
Much appreciated,
Vest, B

[John the Baptist]

The speaker here is miffed by what seems to her to be unequal expectations. She is sure her soldier boyfriend is partying with his comrades while she is left alone. Apparently she feels he should be solitary, too. We are not told whether some agreement of this nature was made beforehand. Sounds to me as though she is lonely and is fueling her discontent with her imagination.

[Betty Hermelee]

I think you're right John; but it's a mystery...Thank you for an excellent review!
Best, B

[Lorry]

I call my notable displeasure brain itches and not even getting all the parts you can vibrate, vibrate is enough to stop it itching. Not even trying to cough through your eyes are growl through your nose works. It lingers, like the long forgotten fart in a spacesuit you forgot about until safely back on earth and the locker rooms paint peels from the walls as you unzip in the changing rooms!
It is always the way with enforced absences, that the real enemy is the mind that whispers its worst to you in the dead of night, or the silence while minding your own business, it mugs your thoughts like a ninja waiting in the bushes.
The only known cure is to be together again, but until them.... the doubts keep doubting.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you my dear friend, for your unparalleled support!
Best
B.