Luke Butterscoth

Don't blame me Emri made me do one of these.

Format is Stange

Luke Butterscotch and the Two Winged Hamsters

A Strange Fairy Tale
by Shawn Mills

Once upon a time there was a pointy boy called Luke Butterscotch. He was on the way to see his Alison Thomas, when he decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.

It wasn't long before Luke got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favorite toy, Bunny, but Bunny was nowhere to be found! Luke began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Bunny. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a winged hamster dressed in a red skirt disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Luke.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed hamster. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Luke reached a clearing. In the clearing were three houses, one made from swedes, one made from lollipops and one made from biscuits.

Luke could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Luke looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Luke a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Bunny!

"Bunny!" shouted Luke. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Bunny back!" cried Luke.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Bunny out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, two winged hamsters rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Luke recognised the one in the red skirt that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognize him too.

"Hello Big Hamster," said the witch.

"Good morning." The hamster noticed Bunny. "Who is this?"

"That's Bunny," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Bunny would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the hamster.

The witch shook her head. "Bunny is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Luke interrupted. "Bunny lives with me! And not in 

a cage!"

Big Hamster ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Hamster looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next hamster. "I could eat twohouses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Bunny."

Luke watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Bunny to Big Hamster. He didn't think Bunny would like living with a winged hamster, away from his house and all his other toys.

The other one hamsters watched while Big Hamster put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Hamster. "Just you watch!"

Big Hamster pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Hamster started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of lollipops, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Hamster.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Hamster never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Hamster stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Hamster. "Just you watch!"

Average Hamster pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Hamster started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a hamster!" said Average Hamster.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Hamster, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the hamster away under his arm.

Average Hamster never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Bunny remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Bunny."

"Not so fast," said Luke. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from swedes. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the hamsters. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Luke.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Bunny back."

Luke ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from swedes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Luke sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Luke. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Luke's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from swedes. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Luke was down to the final piece of the door made from swedes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Luke had eaten the entire front door of the house made from swedes.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. 

Now hand over Bunny or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Luke hurried over and grabbed Bunny, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Bunny was unharmed.

Luke thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Alison. It was starting to get dark.

When Luke got to Alison's house, his threw her arms around him.

"I was so worried!" cried Alison. "You are very late."

As Luke described his day, he could tell that Alison didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Alison.

Luke unwrapped a doorknob made from lollipops. "Pudding!" he said.

Alison almost fell off her chair. She actually did and she died. 

The End

 

Author's Note

This is sooooooo bad. It's funny how bad it is.

Reviews

[Wyrn Tiger]

How did you get that formatted like this? This is awesome, this is like Alice in wonderland kind of stuff.;) I love it.

[Mr. Mills]

Thanks for the review. It has a really creative feel but I don’t know if it was any good.

[Wyrn Tiger]

If it wasn't good I wouldn't have reviewed. I enjoy the weird, I wright the weird, just read Poor Bear. I'm not even sure Poor Bear makes a shred of sense but this...This is great. Keep writing.