Fear

Senyru

Visions cloud the mind

Timid moment in madness

Stabbing at the wound.

 

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 Around the corner

Unexpected draws so close

Fear takes all control.

 

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Thunderous heartbeat

Danger revels within mind

Lightning strikes the heart

 

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Leaving you breathless

Captured breath, frozen in time

So hard to escape.

Author's Note

Funny that I've been doing haikus/senryus, now I'm writing them for class.

Reviews

[sounds of shadows]

I've been away some time - trying to do a little catch-up now.

These are all good - sharp, personal, clear, true to the terseness of senryu, but by no means small in scope.

[TPK Stories]

Great haiku...I wrote some of these back in 5th grade....

[zero binty]

I didn't get to read this piece until today, yet it captures a recent event that has happened to someone who is so very much a part of my soul. I love the fact that your entering a new form of expression in the Senryu style.

[Dayran]

An impulse bearing news for our understanding....sometimes its worth the trouble to take a closer look. Nice write!

[Coyote Poetry]

Great description of fear. Fear can make us safe and away from real life and opportunity.
"Around the corner
Unexpected draws so close
Fear takes all control."
Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Amila Jay]

Cool! This is a wonderful write :))

[autumnwind]

its really wonderful---the way u expressed the condition--really good

[外人 (Gaiji..]

amazing poem, you really did a great job with alliterations !!
tiMid MoMeNt iN MadNess (nasals)
sTabbing aT The wounD (occlusive dentals)
aRound the coRneR (/r/ and /l/ class of sounds, don't remember the name xD)
uneXpected drawS So cloSe (affricate letters)
well, i can keep giving examples for ever but i don't want to make this review too long xD

[Lily Mae]

Each, for their own reasons are powerfull. But reading tbem all together like that was extreme and deep into the fear.. excellent writes..xo

[Diwakar - "The Warrior ..]

Thats really great......Very good work...Keep it up :-)