Shattered

Like Moths to flames

You drew me in

With your siren’s song

Helpless was I

To your seductive touch

To your devilish smile

I was hypnotized

Not knowing

Nor caring

The dangers you hide

I gave and gave

Bended to your every desire

Now broken glass

And battered hearts

Tainted souls from your dark art

For you took

And took

Without remorse

Leaving…

Me…

Shattered.

Reviews

[Sapientiam]

I'm always amazed on how you express emotions, whether happy or sorrowful. There is a strength in your words, a strength that moves people in ways unnatural for someone your age. Also, there is wisdom behind your writings, no matter how deep it may be. You are honestly a wickedly talented writer. Keep up the wonderful work!

[Sira YR]

Thank you so so much, Sapientiam. I am truly humbled by your words of praise :)

[Sapientiam]

You're welcome!

[Matthew Smith]

An all-too-human write, something that, I think, we can all identify with, in one way or another.

[Sira YR]

Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate it :)

[William Liston]

I love the tension you created in this piece ... it flowed smoothly before finally resonating into the last stanza. I find the message of this piece relatable because I think we've all met someone who's taken advantage of us, hiding their bad intentions behind a smile.
I noticed that with the structure of this piece, each stanza (except for the last) was longer than the previous one. The first stanza had three lines, the second had four, the third had five, and the fourth had six. Just curious, was that intentional? Whether it was or not, I think it helped to bring out the building tension in this piece.
Thanks for sharing.

- William Liston

[Sira YR]

I didn't really notice it, to tell you the truth :). I never paid much attention to the structure of poems. I write it and seperated it according to how i want it to sound. But thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate it :)

[Ashe Conten]

Leaving…
Me…
Shattered.

Such simple words but such a huge impact- Great job!

[Sira YR]

Why thank you so much, Ashe Conten. Your review is much appreciated :)