Past, Present, and future

There's a mirror directly in front of you.
I want you to take a moment and look at it.
What do you see?

"I see, myself? Is that me?"


It's the future.
You are the past.
You are the forgotten.


"But I look so happy?"

Scars take time to heal.
Yours might never go away.
But Happiness is evident.

"Who are you?"

I am you.
I am the present.
I am, cold.

Author's Note

I was thinking of doing a short story with Shoe, this is told in her point of view. I've wanted to do a series with her and my other character for a while but idea's suck. I need to work on other things, but I really need something personal to work on. Also inspired by this song.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

boy ..the look in the mirror ...past present and future ..clever and piques my minds interest .. and so sad .. i can only think of young teen girls taking that gaze and pondering worth ..so sad! i think the content is worth pursuing and i think the language of this poem is very fitting .. at least for the images and scene conjured in my mind
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and honest thoughts. I liked them.
"I am you.
I am the present.
I am, cold."
Life is a teacher. Leave us empty or full? No weakness in the amazing poem dear Poet.
Coyote

[barleygirl]

I love JayG's suggestion . . . it's a good reminder for all of us: "instead of showing how I feel, try to evoke that feeling in my reader." I have to say, I'm not following this message in your poem very much. Since you read requested me, I feel I have the freedom to say this honestly, rather than clicking on the next thing from my reading list. The mirror observations of yours seem scrambled to me, rather than one thing leading to the next & culminating in some central point you're trying to make here. I know lots of people write this way, I call it "abstract" . . . but suffice to say, I'm not into trying to figure out what a writer is trying to say. If you read me at all, you'll know I like a straightforward linear message.

[Centipedle]

It was told in the point of view of a character so I can see how it can be confusing ^^

[JayG]

This works for you because the questions are those you would ask—or would want me to ask. But would I? I look in the mirror and see the face I shave, the one that looks back at me when I pass the mirror. Because my emotional state isn't the one your intent says it should be, as I read your words my mood is wrong. And isn't that true of most people?

So instead of writing within the mood you hold, evoke that mood in your reader.