What they thought

I dunno, I got super bored, so I decided to write this.

Her: I wonder what he's doing

Him: I wonder what she's doing

Her: I bet he's not thinking about me

Him: I bet I haven't even been on her mind

Her: I watched him walk into my store today

Him: My heart pumped faster the moment I saw her

Her: He ran straight to the bathroom, huh, guess he just came here for that

Him: I freaked out so badly when I saw her dark brown hair and tan skin

Her: *Scans customers items* I can't stop thinking about him

Him: I can't stop thinking about her

Her: He looks taller, handsomer than before...

Him: *throws water on his face, stares at self in mirror* She looks so beautiful, why did I ever let her go?

Her: I miss him

Him: I miss her, I bought a pack of gum just to talk to her

Her: He came to my register today

Him: I asked her how she was

Her: I lied, and said I was fine

Him: She sounded happy, I asked her how it was going with her new boyfriend

Her: I'd rather have him back, than have who I'm with now

Him: I told her I still loved her

Her: if I kept looking at him, I was going to cry, I know he didn't mean it

Him: She couldn't even look me in the eye, I meant every word I said

Her: God, he's cute, that smell, those eyes...

Him: She loves her new boyfriend, he makes her happier than I ever could have

Her: I love him, it's him, it's always been him

Him: She gave me a friendly hug today

Her: I squeezed him tight, and got to breathe in his scent one last time, god, I love him, I want him back

Him: I cried on the way home

Her: When my shift ended, I cried in my car

Him: I lost her forever...

Her: I'll love him 'till the day I die...

Reviews

[T.S. Ulmus]

I love this unique take on storytelling, it's great when people can try new things, I'm always trying to do new things myself. It reads very real, I have certainly been on both sides of that conversation. Now it just reminds me of the dalliances of youth. Good write.

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you so much for this review! ❤️

[Coyote Poetry]

The confusion of love, the questions of love. We will dance often on these questions my dear friend. I liked the set-up and the honest feel of the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Samuel Dickens]

This sounds pretty realistic to me. I was a very poor player in that game of romance, and you reveal why. With all the doubts, confusion and missed messages, how can anyone ever choose the right kind of mate? An enjoyable read--it made me smile a couple of times.

[Nix is typing...]

I'm so glad you could relate!! And I'm happy it made you smile, thank you for your review, Samuel!!

[spacelava]

Me while reading this: JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS ALREADY!!!! lmao
A user commented that this is a unique take on storytelling and I agree. It reminds me of books that feature the pov of both main characters - letting us know how they've experienced a certain scenario and this is exactly that, just a different take. I loved it. Wish they can read one another's mind and realize that they f*****g love one another!!!!!!

[Nix is typing...]

Lol, I love that reaction and I love those kinds of books!!! I honestly thought about a post I saw on Insta a few years ago, then I thought about this guy that I liked that works at our local grocery store, and I put the two together, switching the roles of the girl being the one behind the cash register and just kinda went with it. I love that you loved my story ❤️ Thank you so much for your review, Marija!! ❤️❤️

[barleygirl]

Great job telling a fulsome story using a back-and-forth of two people's thought streams. This starts out a little shallow & mundane, just two people being stuck on each other without much sparkle or detail to differentiate this scene from the other million poems about two people being stuck on each other. But about one-third of the way thru, your plot begins to thicken with some action & lying & being tormented, etc. The last two-thirds shows a well-developed ricochet of thought streams, nicely tangled, contrasting, ironic (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you, Miss Margie!! As always I very much appreciate this review!! It makes me feel really happy that I keep getting reviewed by a top reviewer!!! ❤️

[Kari Rakitan]

This reminds me a lot of "This Masquerade" by George Benson:
https://youtu.be/j9W0g3NGSj4

I don't understand why she doesn't trust him when he says he still loves her. It seems like there's a lot more to the story, a reason the communication broke down like this.

[Nix is typing...]

I'm glad I made you think! Thanks for your review!

[Just Kim]

This reads more as a play then a story. There is no description but straight to words.
Needless to say I like it though. very nicely written.

[Nix is typing...]

Huh, I've never really thought about it as a play. I like the way you see it! Thanks for your review!

[Caleb is typing...]

Dam that hits real, super well written and I love the aspect of both perspectives!

[Nix is typing...]

Thanks, bt. :3 Always a pleasure getting good reviews from my best friend xD