The Seize of The Emotions

These thoughts have been sitting in my brain for a bit, I like to think of it as: "the adult version of Inside Out," a movie about your emotions having bodies.

How many times have I smiled,

While really crying inside?

Did my self-esteem shoot herself?

Did she just lay there and writhe?

Until she just died?

Did I make a mistake?

Mess up and screw up like I usually do

Is my life just one big earthquake?

What even am I to you?

I try to smile,

All the while

Screams from demons echo inside my head

Telling myself to set what's left of Joy aside

Self-hatred screaming, "I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!"

Telling myself to hide

But I must confess

Nevertheless,

My demons take over my head

Always controlling,

Always making sure I’m mislead

They don’t see the impossible-to-miss clues

They beg, plead, cry for booze

It’s given me the blues

Jealousy consumes me

While Insomnia beats me awake

How much more of this,

Can I even take?

Anger grew a body

She beat me mercilessly into the ground

Insecurity joined quickly

My whole world turning upside down

Happiness stood there and watched

With a stupid smile on her face

Just because her plastic surgery was botched

Self-Love was brutally beaten when I was younger

She still lay in the hospital to this very day

Never to recover

So while my self-conscious wandered

Self-hatred was discovered

My emotions are starting to cloud my head and take up space

But I slap on my smile and try to keep face

While my emotions tear and eat at me from the inside out

I walk around with a smile on my face

With my brain full of doubt...

Author's Note

This isn't directed towards anyone...it's just been sitting in my brain for a while...
I've tried to capture my emotions embodied.
NOOOOOOOOOOO WHY'D THEY HAVE TO GO AND CHANGE THE CAPTCHA AGAIN?!?!?

Tell me how I did, or what you feel! :)))

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A wild ride in the poetry my dear friend. Anger fixes nothing. Hurting someone create fear and separation. You allowed the reader to feel the struggle. Powerful and strong words shared my friend.
Coyote

[Nix is typing...]

Thank you so much for the read and review, Coyote! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear poet.

[poetgurl]

I have felt this way before, I am usually pretty happy.

[Nix is typing...]

Ha... you sound just like your Mom. Happy. :)))
Thanks for the read and review, Kari :)

[poetgurl]

yeah well, she taught me well, wanna know more about me read my blog.

[Nix is typing...]

Will do!!!

[T.S. Ulmus]

The anthropomorphizing of happiness as a woman with a bad cosmetic job is pretty brilliant. We've all gotten the warning messages about being low on data or low on storage space, it's kind of cool that you applied that same thing your brain as emotions cloud out thought. I'm pretty sure I have an innate fatal error and I will soon find the blue screen of death.

[𝓑lack 𝓛ion 𝓯rom 𝓽he 𝓢outh]

@Ulmus i like what u did there

[Nix is typing...]

Thanks, Ts :) I always love your reviews :)))
Ahhh, I keep forgetting that word, I was gonna name it that, but then I was like, "What the hell was the word he used?" I'm glad you liked what I did with happiness, I thought that would make good...something? Thanks for the read and review, Ts!!!