Edge (50 words)

Edge (50 words)

A Story by CharlieO
"

This was an option in a contest on another site. The aim is write something in 50 words.

"

Two steps.

And I’m at the edge.

A sharp inhale of salty air, smelling as it strokes my cheeks, my hair lashing across my face, like branches in a storm. My heart a drum beat, blood pumping in my ears. My eyes wide open, blink, pupils dilate.

Ready to jump.
 

© 2008 CharlieO


Author's Note

CharlieO
The aim of this was to attempt to write something meaningful with imagery in under 50 words.
Please let me know how I have done with this task.
I would encourage anyone to have a go at this - its difficult - but really makes you think and create something really beautiful.

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Featured Review

You've done a wonderful job of creating a vivd scene in a mere fifty words, that is no easy feat. "A sharp inhale of salty air, smelling as it strokes my cheeks..." is my favourite line, great alliteration, very appealing to the senses. I like how you formatted it too, suits the topic, good luck with the contest.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

sharp images created from so few words, well done :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wonderfully powerful. You paint such an evocative picture in only fifty words but I can feel the salt on my lips and the rain in my face, the darkness below and a chill off the open water. I imagine a porcelain white face and midnight black hair, glossy wet slapping face like petulant snakes. See how your writing stirs the imagination? A sign of a great job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is great! I've read it three times... have such a picture in my mind now.

,' my hair lashing across my face, like branches in a storm.' - how true that is, it happens, vicious wind.

Congratulations in creating so much in so few words.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You leave the reader in suspense. Is she Icarus or a suicide. Very good abstraction. It lets the reader make a choice. Very well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


You have definetly acheived this task. I love this and the imagery is brilliant. I don't know if the taste of salt can be classed as imagery but I definetly felt that.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wow, that was simply astounding, and amazing use of imagery in just 50 words for a story.
It almost has a poetic feel to it, in my opinion of course. And, as usual, this is just another great work for you.
It's always good to make things for contests. I think I may try at this one, even though I don't really write stories that often. Of course, I sometimes just get to lazy or something to do a story, even a short one.
The comparison between your hair lashing across your face like branches in a storm is simply wonderful and amazing.
You never seem to surprise me with any of your works that you do, I hope you know that, for they are simply wonderful and amazing. You have a gift for imprinting imagery into your works of Literature, and I can't wait to read more and more of your writing.
For now, however, I bid thee adieu!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was good, you were very descriptive in your 50 words, I only wish I could do this in 50 words.

Posted 11 Years Ago


You've done a wonderful job of creating a vivd scene in a mere fifty words, that is no easy feat. "A sharp inhale of salty air, smelling as it strokes my cheeks..." is my favourite line, great alliteration, very appealing to the senses. I like how you formatted it too, suits the topic, good luck with the contest.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That was as breath taking as standing up there waiting to jump must feel.
Great stuff

Posted 11 Years Ago


You've done a great job with this task -- the use of imagery is great!!

Thanks for bringing this suggestion to my attention. I'm sure it's a hard task to write something meaningful in less than 50 words but you've done a brilliant job.

Also, thanks for stopping by my page - it's very nice having the chance to read your creations.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 22, 2008
Last Updated on July 4, 2008

Author

CharlieO
CharlieO

Southampton, United Kingdom



About
Hello there, I'm have been on this site for a couple of months now.I have just started writing again having gotten bogged down in work for my university course (English Literature at Southampton Uni).. more..

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