In Red...

Strong and tall
you built impenetrable walls,
you invited me in
to sit with you for a while,
when truly a moment was all you had...

With a dysfunctional heart, I knew
I was facing the inevitable winds of change,
as we slipped through the cracks of time
I struggled to memorize your smile...

To remember every soft line, every whisper;
when you told me you loved me,
why did you blind my eyes?
blurring hues of red...

Your unspoken words,
I turn them over and over
inside my head,
as Autumn begs to move on...

Author's Note

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

A crave of the perfect love, lust, emotion, exchange and PG no less. Hidden hints and screaming ones are what makes this interesting.

[Quill~]

:) thanks MoriartyMesa.

[Nick.B]

A seductive image you've created here, love the tense, taste and nostalgia, if the color red could be explained this would be it...great job

[Quill~]

:) thanks Nicky! Happy to see you here...

[Leigh]

To break the heart of one so beautiful as in the image is a rash move indeed! You have described the painful scene of broken love so accurately and painfully and then Autumn a beautiful touch at the end.

[Quill~]

:) thank you Darlin'!

[Mark]

A sadness pervades this love poem. Fleeting as it was, it seems it was a worthy one. There's a typo in the last line I think.

[Quill~]

:) thanks Mark. what typo? (please point it out... I'll edit)

[Mark]

Last line... 'moves on' should be 'move on'

[Quill~]

ahhh thank you! thank you! lol

[Simon Welsh]

Lovely poem; you really paint an image. Song does nothing for it though; the poem is good on its own.

[Quill~]

:) thank you muchly Elliott...the song plays my heart.

[Sami Khalil]

The title , the poem , the song are all wonderful although sad but I like them...Bravo

[Quill~]

:) thanks kindly Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)......................

[Daniel Salvatierra]

its funny, I see so much of myself in this. it's truly beautiful, dark and yet hopeful. Well done

[Quill~]

:) glad you see something in this... I wrote this for a heartbreaker.
thank you Daniel.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This scenario is well spoken here and the angst caused when our expectations are raised then dashed are well expressed in your narrative. Last line has an error in it.

[Quill~]

:) many thank yous John!...(please let me know which error I've made so I can correct it)

[Nebunova]

I like the way you ended each stanza with a "..." like you're awaiting the inevitability of change while at the same time, wishing the moment would never end. nice write. aye plus plus.

[Quill~]

:) thank you Nebunova!...happy about the 'aye plus plus', is a good thing. lol

[Keith LaFountaine]

Beautifully written, tender and heartfelt yet also depressing. Excellent imagery and prose. Nice work Quill!

[Quill~]

:) thank you muchly Keith!