Green Eyes

I remember those beautiful green eyes,

the ones that look at you as though you were the most

beautiful person in the world,

as if I were everything to them,

sometimes i think they are blind,

I close my eyes, and see the

peircing green eyes, and I miss them.

CMS(H)

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Eyes are the true windows to the soul.. here you show a great memory connected to missing the soul that made you feel so special.. it's so nice when another can lift us in such a way that places us on a pedestal.. very nicely written! I miss many eyes.. my father's, my grandparents and so many old friends that brought me happiness in the past. Then I remember that the souls behind those eyes helped make me who I am today.. some were meant to be in passing.. and they are all still very much a big part of me inside! You captured a radiance in a feature that really strikes me as well! Short and simple.. but really beautiful essence!

The tenses are a bit off.
have you ever just missed someone so much, and then when you can't picture them clearly in your head anymore, it's the most horrible feeling in the world?

[Chelsea.]

You can sense the longing in this.
I think this could be better, but overall it's not a bad poem.

[rockinmiley555]

this is sad, and simple. it reminds me of what im going through... and i love reading what other people write and having them relate to me :) great write

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is a fantastic write, love it

[Bette]

well done, wonderful wording.

[Neil]

this achieves what peotry should achieve of expressing emotion that is too deep for words to express non-poetically. It makes your loss real to me the reader.

I would think a bit about the subject object change - "look at you" to "as if I were everything" which is confusing as I suspect that "I" the writer of the poem is all the green eyes look upon.

Neil

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful and sad poem. We miss the simple things when they are gone. Poem was strong and to the point. A excellent poem. Thank you.

[Kaelyn Shea]

aww this reminds me of my bffs eyes

[LivingDeath]

Those green eyes will always be looking at you though you may not know it to be true. They looked at you like you were everything, because you are. You are everything, you are the most beautiful person in the world. Dont let anybody ever tell you differently. I too miss a pair of eyes, a pair of deep loving brown eyes.