Graduation

This is a poem I wrote on my graduation night.

Graduation. 

The shade of the sunrise lies on my bookcase, 

As the orange tint brushes off my skin. 

Its a welcomed attraction to such a black night, 

Clearing up all doubt that the daylight would come.

The birds are chirping and perching on branches, 

Ushering the beginning of a new day

And in some sort of a strange way, 

It defines a moment that is so loose,

It tightens up the reigns on a potential memory.

 

And it makes it unforgettable. 

Last night was the end of something so dragged out.

The end of something bittersweet.

But the dawn doesn't care about last night, 

The residue of it has become dew on the ground,

Just drifters sticking around. 

This sunrise is the start of a new beginning, 

And its the most beautiful one I've ever seen. 

The way the sun breaks through the haze of clouds, 

Lying in all the colours of the rainbow.

It over pixelates the ocean,

Giving it such a lively blue. 

But the thing I remember most is the way…

The shade of the sunrise lied on my bookcase.  

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems. This is a really personal piece.

Reviews

[Celestial Witch Child]

This is beautiful... I love the bare essence of moving on and forgetting tomorrow because last night is only dew on the ground of a new day. My only suggestion is to slightly lengthen the shorter lines. It would help improve the flow. Amazing piece.
I would also appreciate having some of mine reviewed if you would be so kind. Thanks. (:

[Laura Maidah]

You missed an apostrophe in "it's". "Its a welcomed attraction to such a black night, ". Feeling insecure in daylight is brilliant. It's amazing how many ways this next line can read:"It tightens up the reigns on a potential memory." I wish I knew your every intention. It's my favorite line of the afternoon, and I read a lot. Strange syntax in "It over pixelates the ocean," I can't grasp its meaning. Personifying dawn is Shakescene, but it really works here. Maybe another personification? LIke the sunlight is lying to the bookcase. It's already nebulous whether the daylight will come. Maybe the sun is dishonest? It adds to your tone, and picks up so many new connotations.
"The shade of the sunlight" is a negative. Sunlight is light. There is no shade.

[Emerald Seas]

Thoughtful writing on a momentous occasion in a young person's life.

[Ceri]

"But the dawn doesn't care about last night, /The residue of it has become dew on the ground, /Just drifters sticking around. " I particularly like these lines. The whole poem is nicely worded though, and perfectly embodies the feeling of (finally) moving on from high school.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. Graduation take you to a new world.
"It defines a moment that is so loose,
It tightens up the reigns on a potential memory.

And it makes it unforgettable. "
A very strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[koty bell]

great work man:)

[olla]

there are no grammer issues in this.. this is the best I have seen of your work so far.. when the heart speaks the soul listens.. let your heart speak..

[Dr. Wood ?]

well thought out piece