Paper Heart

First Poem I've Ever Written- I'm NEW at This. My oldest daughter is facing a heart transplant, thus Paper Heart. Maybe there's some things about her in there; just my frustration.

Paper Heart

She was born into a world that didn’t deserve her.
Too many years without a kindness,
She holds in tears but feels the pain,
Of the words that kept her tightly contained.
The Lepers
filled her soul with shame
But now she's running to search for grace,
She’s out of breath, and barely breathing.

But the fire will surround them.
And the dragon will roar.
She could slay it and slap it
But they would laugh and want even more.

The mighty river of humanity flows
like a savior we cannot see.
It follows a path from the heavens,
to the seas around mountain peaks,
Lifts her up like a peaceful dream.

Just follow the path of dignity.  

But remember if you have spoken words to defeat the meek,
only a dark jungle you will see.
Blinded by ashes and smoke into the pit of pity you will go.
And the fire that surrounds them, is higher than the heavens,
divided by the words that devoured her.

Her heartbeat has a peaceful rhythm,
One she has never known
For now she has hope and freedom,
But they have only fear because they deceived her.

Sanctified by the light that guides her,
The mighty river of humanity flows,
like the savior we cannot see,
Her bright light will always glow,

This is her destiny.
She is you.  She is me.

Author's Note

Hey, I just quickly wrote this. I'm not a poet; but would like to express myself and learn from you guys. And of course, it's much more than that. I have tried to write song lyrics - and sometimes something, sounds okay; but I am trying to write poetry. Thank you.

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

This is a stellar poem. I am sorry that it was created out of such distress but it is beautiful and the reader can feel the love you used to pen it and the angst because you had write it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[Matching Socks]

I think this was very good, especially for a first. And knowing the back story makes it all the more moving.
I'm new too, I've only been writing five months, this is way better than my first poem.

[Sami Khalil]

An awesome poem for a first full of love and compassion to your daughter and full of mother's anxiety for the surgery. The title, the message of truth within and the execution of your realistic perceptions and projections of her. Excellent...:).....

[Confuser]

Maybe I got lucky. My daughter is very ill - heart transplant, thus Paper Heart, and I was angry. Never taken the time to write. College is long gone & if you went, feel certain you did, or was raised in a library, we only write a few essays, unless English Lit major. Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).......

[Confuser]

black betty had a child?,,,,,can't remember the lyric!

[1Disawsum]

A great poem, your daughter belongs here, make the world and its people kinder! Love the flowing pace of this poem, and the fact that it is evident you did not plan it. Often, this marks the boundaries between a good poet and a great poet. You're a natural at writing poems, freestyle, yet to be defined. Loved it, well done!

[MomzillaNC]

I disagree: you are a poet with a voice to be heard. Powerful and moving poem. Really terrific imagery and emotive strength.

NOTES:
But now [she's] running to search for grace,
to the seas [around] mountain peaks,
Her [beating heart] has a peaceful rhythm
(One she’s never [yet] known)

I suggest the last stanza be presented thusly:
Sanctified by the light that guides her,
And the mighty river of humanity flows…
like the savior we cannot see,
She knows, the confusers are losers.
This is her destiny.

She is you. She is me.

[Confuser]

I am so, so thankful for your help. Truly, can see what an experienced and talented writer, like you, can do. I will go back and make these changes. I have NEVER sat and written any type of poetry, but I want to learn and you are very encouraging. Being a mother, grandmother, I'm so busy, and write quickly. Thank you MomzillaNC - I am DaleSpringsMitchum on F/B if you use it; I'm not on there very much, but anyway...your critique is so encouraging. I so hope I have something to say;

[MomzillaNC]

You're very welcome. For really terrific poetry, check out David Lewis Paget, Ploughboy, MADENGLISHMAN, and Tate Morgan here on WC.

[Confuser]

So glad someone else commented; somehow I didn't see this MomzillaNC; I certainly will check them out. Your poetry is terrific too. Richard Beevor said you are a great story writer as well. Sorry i haven't been able to read as yet; started one day; one chapter and had to leave. I wrote something years ago: a correspondence to my neice, but you are so much better. I will get to your stories, unless this website crashes on me. Thank you again. And you are really busy here; see you guiding people. You are the teacher/something I could never be, but greatly admire.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I'm flattered. But, really, the authors I mentioned are unparalleled.

[Chris]

Welcome to WC... you'll standout well... here.

[SmittyJas]

Very good for quick thoughts and wonderful story telling It made for an enjoyable read this gal was self reliant and strong independent I think we could get along. well written.

[nafisa]

beautiful poem, i hope to read more : )

[sunshine hazzard]

wooooooooooww your writeing is good