Oh My Knight - A Goddess Standing Beside A Princess

Pushed down by a beautiful goddess, helped up by a powerful knight with a game plan.

After a night to remember, 
I wake up in my bed under a sheet of sunlight, 
In a city like the lost Atlantis. 

My thoughts of last night are a blur,
I vaguely remember a party,
And two voices among whispers. 
"A goddess, 
A goddess, standing beside a princess." 
The only ones standing outside of costumes, 
In a room full of knights, 
Stuffed with masculine jewels. 

I walked to her with a mask-less face. 
With dry lips, I said, "Hi."  
But I got pushed away by her rolling eyes. 
The floor was like the sky,
I kept falling, waiting to hit the ground and die. 

At the feet of knights, I rose once again,  
At that, a knight slithered past,
Leaving his sword in my hand. 
Not knowing what to do,
I drew upon my imagination*. 
I defeated the goddess and avenged my soul. 

Later that night the goddess’ body was found, 
Beside the sword, I allegedly stole. 
Word broke out and a rumor roamed, 
Onto the streets, under the gloom. 

Then the sunlight touched my face. 
Opening my eyes I see it’s a new day.
The world is bright andI'lll walk 
Through this maze of city buildings,
Wearing a smile on my face,   
To show my sanity… after that revolution.

1/22/2016      

Pen name: Cyprian Van Dyke 

Author's Note

Footnote: If you imagined you did something, did you really do it?
This is just a hint to understanding my story here.

I'm interested in knowing what kind of writer I am.
What made reading it worthwhile?

Reviews

[Sweet]

My love for fantasy drew me into this poem, that reads to me like a beautiful story.
I find the story it tells very interesting and intriguing, it left me pondering and seeking for the meaning behind this dream.
I'm still wondering, why did he kill her? Was it to because she rejected him and his pride/ego was hurt? What about the princess? Did he kill the Goddess so he can be with the princess? My brain just runs wild with so many questions XD
Thank you for sharing this poem, I really enjoyed it, it was very entertaining ^_^

And to reply to your author's note. I don't think I can really define what kind of writer you are, but from the stories you wrote, I see your style as fiction/fantasy, which I love. You have an overflowing imagination that gifts you with awesome stories, I hope you keep writing more of them =D

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for your review!
Yes, that is why. No he had not interest in the princess.
Thank you for answering my question in the authors note. It's a help to me.

[Sweet]

Your welcome ^_^ Ah ok, makes sense, thx for answering my questions, but then it stills makes me wonder what happened to the princess then XD (I know... I think too much about small things lol)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Now that you said, "small things," let me ask you a question.
What if i told you that he didn't kill the goddess, but that he was willfully framed? Which is true and true i didn't say that and i understand why my readers would not come to that conclusion. I', sure it's not the first time a writer was blinded into thinking he was writing something he was merely thinking. Every time i re-read i followed the characters a different way.

[Sweet]

O_O wow, brain running wild even more now XD
When I first read this poem, I was wondering why the knight gave him the sword... Then I thought, well maybe he just dropped it on accident... Nah, a knight wouldn't be that dumb/clumsy... maybe he wanted to help the guy seek revenge.... hmmm, maybe...?

*I read it once again. grasped a few details*
"At that a knight slithered past, Leaving his sword in my hand... I drew upon my imagination.
I defeated the goddess and freed my soul. ... Beside the sword i allegedly stole."

Now that you mention it and I put all the pieces together, the idea of him being framed seems so clear, it makes complete sense.
Why the knight killed the Goddess is a mystery, but he was cunning enough to frame someone else. (Maybe the princess paid the knight so he kills the Goddess so she could reign in her stead. Or the Goddess was a tyrant and the knights wanted to get rid of her... I'll stop here with my random thoughts lol)
Thanks for this new perspective, it made me love the poem even more ^_^

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Lol, no a knight wouldn't be so dumb i suppose. I like the way you said it.
Yes, you got it! The knights wanted to get rid of her. The last line said, "revolution."
The goddess rejected the man so cruelly that it made the knight realize a revolution was necessary. But the night gave him the credit by cleverly framing him.
You cracked the case! Thank you for your comment. It was thrilling to read! Thank you for putting the effort in understanding it!!!! HUGS

[Sweet]

Yay !!! I solved the case. "Every puzzle has an answer!" lol, np. It was fun for me. I always like to understand things, and when a problem is not solved it can bug me a lot XD
If you add mystery in your future stories, I'd delight myself in trying to solve them too ^_^
But mystery or not, your stories have been great so far. *hugs*

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Okay, thank you. I'm always trying to progress with wisdom.
Thank you for the compliment. Your writing has been remarkable too by the way!

[Sweet]

That's great ^_^ keep up the good work! I'll keep trying my best, thx.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you! And you're most welcome!

[Valentine]

Interesting word usage. Many writers would use different endings to the start of this. Why did he slay the girl, for instance. Valentine

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for your review!

[V]

This reads like a fantasy prose poem yet interesting and original in a way. There are so many images to process, I find it hard to give you a matching review or reflection on your writing.

As to the question you raised in your author's note: only you can find out what kind of writer you are and you'll eventually after a while but going through different stages.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for your review.
What you say is true, but i do learn a lot about what kind of writer i am by reading comments like yours. So again, Thank you!

[V]

Ok. You're welcome.

[zunie frost]

Great poem !!!!!
Nice piece of work

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very!

[H.L. Cerveise]

I like your story poem. That is what I call the style you are writing in. It also seems very connected to yourself, which I feel makes it even better.

Well done.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very much!

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

This is nice and well penned. All have the potential and all have a scope of improvement. The same goes with you. Keep writing.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very much! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

intriguing to read ...also like the line Shimmerbliss mentions ... a goddess beside a princess ...and your speaker kills the goddess ... makes me wish i were a sensitive of dream psychology to understand the pinnings of that :) reminds me when i have dreams that i am dreaming so when i wake up in the first dream i think i am awake; but i still am dreaming ..some of my scariest dreams come from that :)) but i love dreaming and when i remember at least a part of them i think it is a blessing ..whether i can put meaning to them or not .. perhaps you use a play on words exchanging knights for nights .. hmmmmmmm! as to what kind of writer you are ..most assuredly it is up to you ... for me the Cafe is great roving ground to find out :)
E.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Hmm, what is "shimmerbliss"??
Thank you for your insightful comment! Dreams are awesome, no doubt it.:)

[Einstein Noodle]

Shimmerbliss commented below ;) has the little bird for an avatar

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Oh, lol. Alright thanks!

[FJ Davis]

This work is richly imaged and skillfully conveyed.
The masked "knights" appear quite sinister--in an "Eyes Wide Shut" sort of way.
Hopefully, that experience really was just a dream.
Enjoyed the ride, Cyprian!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very much for your comment! :)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I do think my favorite lines are:
"The floor was like the sky,
I kept falling, waiting to hit the ground and die. " - Wow!
Dreams are amazing! They flow effortlessly into what would in waking hours seem confusing. I was at my house, but it wasn't my house, but somehow I knew it was...type of thing.
This is worthwhile for me because it held my interest, and was written so beautifully. I cannot say that I completely understand what it means to you, but I can be sure that a dream like this is full of symbolism and that it would reveal much about what is going on in your life, and perhaps in your past. Fascinating and well written. It is felt like a dream.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very, very much for your comment! It means a lot to me! :) I thought that line was one of the most powerful-est too. And thank you for telling me why reading this was worth while.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

You're welcome! I enjoyed spending time here.

[Insight "MH"]

The poem shows a lovely portrait which is created from a fine imagination, but there is a word that I think is better to be changed to complete the theme of this picture. In my opinion, using "routes" instead of "streets" will complement the line above it to be in sync with the word "rumor" and "roamed".

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very much for your input! Weather or not i edit my work, after it is complete in word and Thought, i do love comments about corrections, for when one reads something they also read the comments beneath it. But i'm sure your comment will be read and contribute to the beauty of my poem! Thank you again!

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome! I hope you do the same for me on my work and write what you feel, cause it's the only way "in my opinion" that a writer can improve by...... Take care!

Insight.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Sure thing!

[Cassie]

wow....this is so so beautiful i even do not know how to review it. such a real imagination, was thinking to myself and telling myself, thank God it was a dream because if it was real, you would be behind bars now for allegedly killing the goddess

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you, thank you! You're right i would be behind bars lol. I glad to hear it was real enough to think about the consequences. Love your comment, thank you again!