The Vividness In Me

The Vividness In Me

A Poem by Daniel Gardner
"

Something new I tried.

"

















This is what is in me,

The viral infection of my own dichotomy.
Split into two.
One meant for me,
One meant for you.

An image I give,
Thrown up all over you.
You take it in,
Munching and enjoying the contents within.

It came out of my mind,
Leaked all over the streets.
You didn't care what it was.
You licked it all up,
Never thinking twice.

How can I continue to sacreat,
This bowl movement?
This urination?
This bloody tract?
Before you notice I'm sick?

Do I have to die,
To get you to see the rafter in your eye?
You drain my blood,
Before I have even passed away.

You drink my blood for its bitter taste.
You dissect my insides,
And devour my kidneys.

You dissect my heart,
To see its complex chambers,
Its clogged arteries.

You take my intestines and joke,
No wounder I was full of crap.
The only thing you left,
Was this yoke I carried in my chest.

© 2010 Daniel Gardner


Author's Note

Daniel Gardner
This is something I decided to write due to the complex thoughts the run through my mind. I never really know how to put them into words so this poem to me is a personal one. Comment, Review, Rate

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Reviews

Awesome….
Fantastic….
Very powerful, determined thoughts…that carries a bitter taste..all over the poem…
Bitter side of an untold truth….



Posted 10 Years Ago


sounds more like a science project Nothing like Love too Creepy to be Love and i am glad i wasn't eatting lol while reading this! Very Different and Interesting. God bless

Posted 10 Years Ago


hm, this one is for sure a bit different...
but I kinda liked it
I liked how you kinda broke down every bit of a human body
and kinda gave it a life of it's own in a way...? IDK
I loved the lines:
"Split in two
one meant for me
one meant for you"
I thought that was a clever way to start out,
but near the end
I felt as if that piece meant for "me" had disappeared almost
Except..."the only thing you left was the yoke I carried in my chest"
an I thought that was kinda interesting...
I'd love to hear your meaning behind this one!
(feel free to message...I don't bite...) :)
Thanks nice write!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I noticed some words were possibly misspelled, I'm from Arkansass and we may spell things diffferently, but I noticed a few words didn't look like they were spelt right like, 'wounder'='wonder'. If it isn't misspelled just ignore this. xD I didn't know the meaning of two words I believe, so I might be looking them up later tonight. Haha, yeah, but I loved the poem. It made me think, especially about where those body parts were, since I'm bad at it -_- Anywho, keep up the good work, cuz you're awesome! :D

Posted 10 Years Ago


You made me think on this on Daniel. All these science terms. You must be a teacher. I had to read a few times. The human body body parts names I was very weak at in school. I like this poem. A lot of questions and mystery in the words. These are the poems we like to take apart and understand. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


Good write. Reads more like a two for one deal to me. The first five stanzas are about the 'it' or personal. The final three are more external. Bitter anger toward someone.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Such a amazing poem, I like it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Excellent use of the ugly to form beauty almost lol
Perfect wording and a great poem, love it!
The reference to the saying this to a person almost is interesting too!
Great work
xx

Posted 10 Years Ago


Hmm... Interesting. I agree with Aveira, very gross descriptions, but it did give it a much more raw and vivid feeling to it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it :) You spelled "secrete" wrong, by the way. The description you put in this is gross, but I liked it xD Gave the poem a more raw feel, a more realistic feel. Good work :)

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on August 15, 2010
Last Updated on August 15, 2010

Author

Daniel Gardner
Daniel Gardner

Monroe, GA



About
I'm an inspiring writer that has a million and ten thoughts running through his head all day. I joined this site because my wife inspired me to. I was not prepared for the thoughts to jump out so much.. more..

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