Part 1: The new toy

"Timmy, put your toys away and come down for dinner." "Yes mother" said timmy. However Timmy continued to play with his old battered action figure elemental hero Light Sword. (Hurrying footsteps approaching)" I thought I told you to clean up your messy room and come down for dinner". "Coming mother!" said Timmy as he ran down the stairs. Their family had lived in this old house for as long as Timmy could remember. They had moved in when he was born and he was now eleven years old. His father worked very hard as a mechanic to help support his family. He worked long hours for a pretty low payment and thus he always missed dinner with him and his mom. His mother was a sanitation worker and always wanted his room cleaned. This explained why his family never had much money to spend on frivolous things. When Timmy came down for dinner something caught his eye. It was the days mail and the first paper was an advertisement for a action figure. It was the brand new Elemental Hero Dark Lord. He knew that these rare kinds didn't run cheap. So as he was about to turn away in disgust when he noticed that it was on sale only 0.99$. He noticed that today was the last day for the sale and it was already eight o' clock. He had to hurry. "Hey mom can we go to the store real quick and get this new action figure for my collection it only cost ninety-nine cents". "Are you serious" said his mom. "Yes can I go please". "Alright we can go after you eat your dinner". Oh great that meant he had to eat the shrimp. Oh well he thought its for a good cause as he stuffed the shrimp into his mouth. Finally he was done and could go to the store. When they arrived at Super Save A lot the parking lot was totally empty. "This is strange his mom thought usually it is crowded with people trying to get the cheapest things ever." At least there will be no lines thought Timmy. As they entered the store. He looked around there was no one to be seen, the store was totally empty. Timmy immediately saw what they had come for. He ran over grabbed the action figure and ran to the nearest cashier grabbing and pulling his mom on the way. When they had paid for it as they were leaving the cashier whispered something into Timmy's ear. When they got home Timmy had to go to bed. The next day is Saturday I can play with it then as he set it securely and safely on his dresser. He woke up early next morning to open his action figure. However when he got to his dresser the Dark Lord was not there but a gaping hole was in the plastic as though someone had cut a circle in the plastic and took out his toy. He ran across the hall to his parents bedroom to ask them what had happened to his toy. When he got to the door he stepped in some warm, red, thick liquid that seeped under the door. He thought it was just paint but when he opened the door he saw a sight that made him scream in horror.

TO BE CONTINUED

Reviews

[EternalDarkness]

Ah, this is a cool story. Nice job with it. The details given didn't seem out of place and it was good, overall. The cliffhanger seemed to be spot on and it was perfect for the end of this chapter. It makes readers think and wonder of what's going to happen next, cause excitement, etc...Good job with this, I'm proud of you. I know you wrote this on your phone but I just wanted to say that I think you should space when different characters are speaking. For example, when Character A (Tommy) starts speaking and Character B (the mother) cuts the character off, you have to start a new paragraph. I think you already know that though, haha. Otherwise, I don't have much to say. The story seems really interesting so I am going to continue. By the way, good luck with this story!

[Shy]

This looks very interesting...