MED's

The beginning of Aria and Arlo's Adventure

I stared at my latest invention realizing that it would be useless I had wanted to upgrade my current MED. MED stands for Means of Electronic Defense they're gadgets made for people all around the world so they can defend themselves and all of them are completely different from each other. My MED can only cause phase changes like turning solid into liquid or vice versa. It wouldn't work because if I increased the speed it would probably stop working and it would be way to heavy to carry it with all the things I already added. So I started taking it apart.

"Another failure?" Arlo asked

"How many times do I have to tell you it's not a failure it's just an experiment it's not guaranteed to work." I answered "How's the latest addition working for your MED?"

"Not bad, it's easier now to strike a weak point so if u want me to cut anything for you I should be capable of doing it with one hit." He answered.

"Good, but don't forget to wear the gloves so you don't start bleeding every time you hit something." I told him. He nodded and went off. Me and Arlo were twin siblings and we lived our whole lives in an orphanage until we decided to leave. We now live in a small cabin where I would do all of my experiments and he would help get materials for them since he was so strong.

"Hey Aria want me to cut anything for you." he came with the MED I had ready for him it was basically ropes made by a special material that would help him focus all of his energy into his hands so he can get a good blow at things. Also some glasses that I tweaked so they would focus on anything and zero in on the weak spot which allows him to one shot anything.

I pointed at a metal bar said "Cut that up into four pieces for me I need it for a later experiment." I answered. He smirked, rubbed his hands, put his glasses up to focus better and struck the metal bar four times and they all simultaneously came off into four even piece's.

"How's that?" he asked fully smiling now.

"Not bad" I answered "next time I'll need them to be cut into more piece but this will do for now."

"Anyway" he said while taking off his gloves and MED "I heard a few people talking about a person called The Machine they say he's made some of the greatest MED's and can create anything, thought you'd want to know that."

"Did you hear where he lives?" This might be good if we can find this guy he can help me get better at making these things.

"No, they weren't talking about it." he explained

"Alright then hurry up on go ask I'll need this person if he's that good." I said hurriedly. Arlo got up and quickly left. " Come back quickly were going to start heading for this man am going to find him and he's going to teach me everything he knows." I yelled while smiling.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I felt that it was a bit fast paced but the next will get better.

Reviews

[JayG]

• I stared at my latest invention realizing that it would be useless I had wanted to upgrade my current MED, which can only cause phase changes like turning solid into liquid or vice versa.

Seriously? Did you edit this? Did you have anyone read it, or have you computer’s Narrator program read it to you? You have a period missing on the FIRST LINE.

To anyone but you, this is meaningless. Sure, we write from our own chair, but we need to edit from the seat of a reader, knowing only what that reader knows. Because you didn’t, pretty much everything the reader needs is missing. Look at what a reader’s reaction would, and must be:

1. “Who is this? What’s going on? Where the hell are we in time AND space?” Unless we know that as we read, we have words but no context to give them relevance. This could be talking about a twelve year old, looking at what s/he calls an invention. It could be Thomas Edison looking at the first functional light bulb. It could be anything. But unless it’s something meaningful to the reader the line is just words in a row, meaning unknown. And since there can be no second, first-impression, clarifying later doesn't help.

2. “I had wanted to upgrade” clearly says this person “had wanted,” but doesn’t anymore. Is that what you mean? Probably not, but it is what you said. Edit, edit, edit. And ALWAYS from the viewpoint of the reader.

3. What in the pluperfect hells is a MED? You know. They person speaking knows. People in the story know. But who did you write this for? Shouldn’t they know? Because if they don’t, the words are, again, meaningless.

Here’s what you missed, like almost all hopeful writers: The word “writing” that’s part of the profession, Fiction-Writing is NOT point to the skill called “writing” that we’re given in school. Not even close.

Why?

1. All professions are acquired IN ADDITION to the set of general skills we’re given in school, commonly called, The Three R’s: Reading, wRiting, and aRithmatic. And, they offer 4 year majors in Commercial Fiction-Writing in college. You have to figure that at least part of what they teach you must be necessary. Right?

2. The goal of all those reports and essays you were assigned in school was to make you proficient in the kind of writing that employers want from us: reports and essays. And they, like all nonfiction writing have the goal of informing the reader. To do that a narrator talks TO the reader, reporting and explaining, which is precisely what you’re doing. It’s not a matter of how well you write, or if you do or don’t have talent. It’s that you’re missing the skills of fiction. Its goal, as E, L. Doctorow so wisely said, is “to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” And did one single teacher spend a single minute talking about how to do that? Hell, given that they haven't studied the profession, no one told them.

See the problem? The fix is simple, though not easy: To write fiction you have to know how, and all the teaching you’ve had on the subject of writing is nonfiction, hence, useless. So... Lots of books on it in the fiction-writing section of the library. There are also, seminars and workshops, retreats, writing clubs, and the good old public library's fiction writing section, which is where I'd start.

But... Want a great book on the techniques of writing fiction, free? Copy that huge address below this paragraph, and paste it into the URL window at the top of any Internet page, then hit return and choose the fomat you need. It’s not an easy book, and it's an older book, but it is the best I’ve found. And if you’re meant to write, you’ll find the learning fun. If not? Well, you’ve learned something important. So, it’s win/win. The book:
https://archive.org/details/TechniquesOfTheSellingWriterCUsersvenkatmGoogleDrive4FilmMakingBsc_ChennaiFilmSchoolPractice_Others

So jump in. The practice is writing stories. And if you do have the talent you hope you do, you end up a famous author. So what’s no to love?

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Username]

Thank you for the advice it helped and I'll make sure that the next chapters are better.