A.D. - After Death

Ivy just lost her grandmother, the woman who raised her and is having a hard time dealing with her loss. Little does she know her life is getting ready to make a turn towards the unbelievable!

 

A.D. – After Death

 

            Though my friends thought it was the right thing to do, I still did not know if I was ready to face the world after what I had just gone through less than a month ago. My world had been split apart by the death of the woman who raised me. She was my rock and my best friend. She was not my mother however she had raised me from the very beginning, Lillie, my grandmother. I was so racked with the pain of her passing that I moved through my days hardly aware of the life around me. I felt empty, lost, and was not sure if I would ever be whole again.

            One of the only comforts that I had from her passing was the day that she was buried, it snowed. It wasn’t the usual small flakes that we normally see in this area but huge white feathers falling from the grey sky like someone had cut open a down pillow and was shaking it out all over the town. Snow fall always made me happy so the fact that it snowed during such a tragic time in my life made me feel a glimmer of hope, like my grandmother was comforting me, telling me it was ok.

            I was so lost into my thoughts that I did not hear my friend Alex say my name until she began to shake me into reality. “Ivy….Ivy….Ivy Kelley!” Alex repeated a little more urgently each time and gently jerked my shoulders.

            “What?” I blinked until her face came into focus. Alex was a beautiful woman with soft curly brown hair that fell in perfect spirals past her shoulders. Her eyes looked like two big blue pools of Caribbean water set in her pale slim face. She was petite in size, only 5’ 2”however she was muscular and I was sure she could take down a grown man making him cry in the process.

            “Are you in there?” Alex asked gently touching my chin and raising it slightly so that my eyes were now fixed on hers.

            “Yes” I answered back half smiling and averting my eyes to the sink in her bathroom. Alex had been my best friend since we were ten years old. We meet at the pool in our apartment complex on her tenth birthday. We were exactly six months apart in age and she liked to rib me about being the older one. We were instantly best friends, truly kindred spirits. We had been through so much growing up. From violent or overly possessive boyfriends and my crazy mother to going to separate schools and only seeing each other every other weekend and summers. Not to mention the crazy teenage years!

            Alex had taken the flashy more boisterous life style. She managed her own performance company. They did everything from plays to burlesque. She was really good at what she did and very settled in her life style. She designed the costumes and did all of the stage make-up as well as performed from time to time in the shows. Though she made a fantastic living and loved her job, it was something that I knew I could never do. I had too much stage fright and was utterly uncomfortable in the body God had bestowed upon me.

            I looked up from the basin and glanced at myself in the mirror. I started to look away then double took the reflection. “Oh my God!” I gasped out loud astonished at the reflection staring back at me. I had always worn make-up and some would say maybe that I wore too much but usually those were the people who never wore make-up at all so I did not take what they had to say to heart. Now as I looked in the mirror, I would actually consider the person in the reflection I saw to be pretty. The one thing that I really recognized, a sure sign it was me in the mirror, was my brilliant green eyes.

            I felt my eyes were one of my better traits. The smoky eye shadow that now adorned my eyelids made my eyes look bigger and greener than usual. My face looked completely flawless with a light brush of blush on my checks and deep red lipstick on my lips. My lips were another one of my better qualities. They were full, almost pouty and seemed in good proportion with the rest of my face. I smiled at myself for just a moment watching as my lips curled up and a hint of a dimple appeared on my left cheek. I looked down in embarrassment. The dimple was definitely a gift I had inherited from my grandmother. She had too perfect dimples on either side or her face when she smiled. Just the thought of her made me miss her so much that in my moment of sorrow, I must have frowned because I heard Alex say, “Awww, you don’t like it.”

“No, I do!” I blurted out almost too quickly looking up at her. Alex narrowed her eyes skeptically. Then I added, “You made me look well……pretty.” I smiled sheepishly.

            “No my love”, she said turning my head to the mirror and leaning down to where her face was next to mine. “You are absolutely stunning.” She whispered.

            I moved my eyes from her reflection to my own. Again I took in the image staring back at me. The bright green eyes, the full red lips, my brown hair parted on the right side flowing in an “S” curve around the left side of my face. The silky soft curls that hung down just past my shoulders were perfectly smooth. I knew that I couldn’t have gotten my hair to look like that even if I tried all day! I looked like a picture I had seen of Lauren Bacall taken back in 1944 except my hair was longer and brown not blond.

            “And now for the outfit!” Alex said enthusiastically breaking into my train of thought.

            “Now I am scared.” I muttered as she pulled me to my feet. Alex began to drag me into her bedroom. My feet were sluggish from being still so long. I plopped down on her bed feeling my curls bounce around me as landed on the deep blue soft satin bedspread. Her bedroom always fascinated me. She had so many interesting furnishings I could never decide on what my favorite one was. I really loved the large replica she had painted of the December 1917 cover of Vogue Magazine. The picture had a black background with a thin crescent moon. On the crescent sat a pale woman in a billowing white dress with pink, black, and white flowers on the sleeve and skirt. It was one of my favorites.

            “I think this will do the trick.” Alex’s voice made me feel a little nervous. I looked up to see her holding a sleeveless red taffeta cocktail dress with a boned bodice. It looked like the dress was short, with a fitted drop waist, a poufy flowing bubble skirt and a loose ribbon sash that hung to the front left side of the skirt.

            “You…you want me to wear that?” I gulped after my voice went up several octaves, as I stuttered. It had to be a joke. Alex knew that I would protest however she was prepared to defend her garment selection.

            “Uh…yeah…its New Year’s Eve and you don’t just wear anything to a party like this. Besides, you look great in red.” Alex stated matter-of-factly. She could see that I was a little uncomfortable. The delicate material of the dress alone could be a disaster for me. “If it will make you feel any better, I am wearing this!” Alex smiled wickedly as she held up a black dress with a straight skirt that looked like it would come to her knees. The top looked to be form fitting with two jeweled buttons on the front just above the waist. It appeared to have a low neck line with a red satin collar that looked like it would fall just off Alex’s shoulders. The sleeves were long and came to a point that looked like it would rest on the top of her hand. It had a wide red satin belt that seemed like it would sit high on her waist.

            “Now, I am going to put your things over here in the chair and I am going to leave so you can get dressed. Let me know when you are done so I can see if any adjustments need to be made.” Alex hurried out of the room shutting the door behind her.

            I sat alone in the quiet room wishing already that this night was over. I knew it was coming and we had been planning it for months. I just didn’t know how I would handle trying to pretend everything was ok when it really wasn’t. It has only been 3 weeks since my grandmother has passed away. I was a jumbled mess on the inside. The need to scream or to curl up in a ball and cry was clawing at me just beneath the surface of my skin but I still sat in silence.

Then I felt grief strike me like a venomous snake attacking my chest. Why could I not get past this? My grandmother was dead and I did believe she was gone to a better place. I could almost see her walking in the sun filled meadow that was next to her home. She was much younger when I saw her like this. She was always smiling and happy. Could I not find comfort in that? I started fighting against the pain that began spreading through my body. I was determined not to cry and I needed to be strong even if it was just for a couple of hours. I was not going to ruin this for my friends.

            “I am not going to do this…I am not going to do this” I repeated as I growled through my clinched teeth and tightly closed eyes as if trying to force the pain out of my body. Suddenly I heard the sound of glass cracking. My eyes flew open as I quickly glanced across the room. It sounded like the noise came from behind me. As I turned I saw a glass on the night stand next to Alex’s bed. It had just a small bit of water in it so nothing unusual there. I got up and as I walked closer, I noticed there was a small splintered crack on the lip of the glass. Just as I started to reach for the glass to examine it more closely, there were three loud thuds on the bedroom door. I wheeled around and clutched my heart in fear.

            “Are you dressed yet? Did you fall asleep in there?” I heard Alex’s voice bellow through the wooden door. “You better not be messing up all of my hard work!”

            I stood frozen in place trying to slow my racing heart down to a more normal pace. I was trying to answer her but nothing came out.

            “Hey…are you ok?” she asked in a more concerned tone.

I cleared my throat and swallowed hard trying to get out some form of an answer. I took a deep breath, “Yeah, I ‘m fine.”My voice cracked again, “I’ll be out in just a minute.” I hurried back to where my clothes were lying. Picking up the dress, I noticed the panty hose and the shoes that were hiding underneath where the dress had been.

“Ok.” Alex replied through the door and I heard her walk down the hall as I turned my focus to the shoes in the chair.

            “She’s trying to kill me.”I mumbled as I picked up one of the red satin high heeled shoe in my free hand and held it out so I could examine it. I had worn high heels before but I always felt uncomfortable in them. I dropped; half tossed the shoe back over to the chair and traded the dress for the package of panty hose. I frowned as I thought about being miserable both physically and emotionally then began pulling everything on.

            Now fully dressed, I walked over to the full length mirror and tilted it up so I could see how bad it really was. There I stood looking back at myself in the reflection. After a few fidgets and adjustments, I finally decided I was ready. As I sighed and started to turn away from the mirror, it almost looked like the image was moving slightly faster than I was as I pivoted. I froze and stared again into my reflection. I turned my body to one side then the other then passed it off as my imagination and turned toward the bedroom door.

            Once in the hall way, I heard the conversation between Alex and my other best friend Amanda, or Mandy as we called her. I could hear the concern in their voices as they talked about me in hushed tones. For a moment, I remembered back to the first time I had met Amanda. I was in my first year of high school and had art class with her. Once we started talking it was like we had known each other forever. We became instant best friends.

           Mandy and Alex were similar in the personalities, both free spirits, both well versed in literature, both artsy, and while they butted heads from time to time, we were all really close. Mandy was a little shorter than me, about 5’ 5”, and had a medium build like me but she was extremely pale. Her hair was a beautiful auburn color and it hung about midway down her back in wavy locks. Her eyes were the color of blue sapphires that always sparkled when she smiled.

            As I started walking down the hallway, I heard the whispering stop. I rounded the corner and there stood Alex, fully dressed in the satiny 1950’s inspired dress with all of her hair up in a French twist except for one ringlet that fell gently to the side of her neck. She had in rhinestone earrings and black satin “Rolando” heels that were higher than mine and with red trim visible on the inside of the stiletto heel. I then saw Mandy peering around Alex. “Hey! You look fantastic!” she exclaimed. Mandy stepped to the side of Alex and I could see her in full view.

“So do you.” I answered back then corrected myself, “You both do!” Mandy was wearing a liquid silver Grecian style short dress that was sleeveless with a scoop neck and gentle folds of fabric in the front. She then held up her arms like she was a model and pivoted to reveal the low back with the more folds of fabric draping at her waist. On her feet were silver strapped heels with little rhinestones embedded in the straps. The shimmering silver sparkled against her pale skin almost giving her a fluid like movement. I had always thought Mandy was beautiful but tonight, she looked absolutely gorgeous. I clapped and nodded in approval as wide smile came across my face.

“Now to complete you,” Alex spoke as she came towards me with some elegant black dangle earrings and a black beaded bracelet. She clipped the earrings to my ears and placed the bracelet on my wrist. “There….perfect.” she smiled.

“And now to mark the occasion,” Mandy continued were Alex left off as she stepped towards her camera that was set up on a tripod in the middle of the living room. “You two get closer together and pose so I can set the focus and timer.” Mandy made a few adjustments to the angle of the camera and the focus. Once she was satisfied, she pushed a button on the camera then ran over to take her place next to me.

“Say whiskey!!” Alex yelled. We all said whiskey as we posed and laughed through our smiles.

The camera flashed and Mandy ran over to check the photo. She seemed satisfied as she dismantled the camera set up. I started to fumble with the sash on my dress as I thought out saying some form of a thank you to my two best friends.

“I really….I mean, I just want to…..well….thanks.” I was stammering around for the appropriate works and failed miserably as usual.

The quiet buzzing of Alex’s cell phone relieved me of further embarrassment. I turned my focus to Mandy who was just finishing up with her camera. I smiled at her half heartedly.

“Oh you will have fun.” she insisted. “You need this! It’s all part of the Ivy support rehab program!” Mandy smiled jokingly as she lightly grabbed my arm and gently shook me back and forth.

I gave an absentminded nod as I looked down at the toe of my shoe. I was so thankful to have friends like Mandy and Alex but I really didn’t feel like being cheered up. In just a few hours, I would be alone again to suffer quietly behind closed doors. I just want this night to be over I thought to myself.

“What?” Mandy asked.

My astonished eyes flashed up to hers. I was sure that I did not speak a word out loud so I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh….I could have sworn I heard you mumble something….must have heard Alex.” I wondered what was going on with me. Was I so out of it that I could not even tell that I was really talking? I needed to be more careful that remarks like that stayed in my head. I wouldn’t dare hurt either of their feelings for the world. I looked up as Alex closed her cell phone.

“Get your coat girls, our chariot awaits!” Alex headed for the door with her coat in hand. Mandy and I grabbed our wraps and followed Alex out of the apartment

Author's Note

Keep in mind that I still have this listed as a rough draft. I just want to see what people think.

Reviews

[Lauren Marie]

It was a good read, but here are some things that may need tweaking,

1. "It was as if someone had cut open a down pillow and shaking its contents out all over the town." Oh wait, this sentence is beautiful! I always love a good simile!

2. " ... she was with my grandfather, Cavin, whom she had loved so dear." This sentence would sound better if it was "dearly."

3. "The shimmering silver sparkled against her pale skin almost giving her a memorizing fluid like movement."
Instead of "memorizing," I think you meant "mesmerizing."

4. You wrote the word "ok," a few times, when the word is really "okay."

All of those are simple fixes, and I didn't notice anything major, except at some points a comma would be nice.

All in all, I liked this chapter. It kept me interested enough to want to know what happens next!

~Lauren

[LaineyBeetle]

This chapter sounds great so far Emmie! I think it may still need a little polishing but all in all I enjoyed myself the whole way through and being a female, I could relate to all that girly stuff! It wasn't just about the clothes it was about establishing the dynamics of the character's friendships - I get that! :) I also appreciated the larger type. For some reason it doesn't feel as daunting as smaller text and is more enjoyable to read - I felt less rushed to get through each paragraph. If I can see what is coming next just underneath what I am reading I tend to skip ahead and spoil it - so the larger type helped me to take it all in at a more enjoyable pace. I'm really intrigued by the strange goings on that have Ivy feeling as if she is losing touch with reality - I'm looking forward to reading part two so I can discover what is actually behind all the mystery! I think you have done an excellent job with this one and you should definitely continue what you have begun. I was wondering - you seem to know these characters so initmately they couldn't possibly be entirely made up - have you based them on real life people or is it completely fiction?

[Voice]

I really like this so far there a lot of emotions I can relate to. you have such a gift of putting your feelings and experiences into words I envy that :) ill keep reading�

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Ah! This is so heart touching and beautifully sad...
really , it touched the very core of my heart!
Very well penned!

[Charles D. Moorer]

A very fine use of first person. Your reader is slowly drawn into the story with a good foreshadowing, the image in the mirror. I know you have this listed as a chapter, but it is really a segment within a chapter. There is a good bit of taking you reader through women's stuff, which I thought was unnccessary, but it moves the story. Great attention to detail, but not overwhelming detail. I especially like when you have the girls take the picture, I clearly saw that. Very nicely written, though there are some word choices, I would avoid, but as this is a first rough dreaft, I am sure that when you review and rewrite, you will see what I mean.

[[untitled]]

still good even though its a rough draft

[Eagle Cruagh]

I am obviously a guy and after wading through
a designer scarf as opposed to an open blouse for
the best part of a chapter I began to get antsy.

You pulled me back in and made me sit quietly by
virtue of double spacing, nice large type and a fluid
writing style. I did`nt have to struggle, I just sat there
and you had my reading all arranged.

Finally, I gave up on the pleated skirt and the shade of
'lip stick and just started to admire the form and substance
of the writing.

Having read a lot of junk , this began to really intrigue me.
No ! Not the story, I`m still trying to figure out what that
girl talk was all about, what interests me now is the absolute
perfection with which it was written.

I`ll have to stop now, but I could rave about that nice writing
for another hour.

You have done an amazing piece of work.

----- 'Eagle Cruagh