We are ashes

We are ashes

A Chapter by A Drawer of Paper Roses
"

Zara's point of view during a week after Diane left.

"
The first thing I hear is the buzzing of the alarm clock. I turn over and stare at it. the same white and blue colors. The same block shape. The same digital letters on the screen. The same beeping noise. It's still the same the day Diane gave it too me. It's still the same after a month she's been gone. A sharp pang stabs my heart. I reach out to the alarm, grab it,and hold it close to my chest. I rock back and forth, trying to make the pain go away. The buzzing rummbles deep inside my chest where an hollow heart is. trying to restart it, make it pound again; make my heart alive again.
I don't believe a human can be dead without the heart. Physically,it's true. Emorionally, it's not. I've stayed up countless nights sleepless; staring at the dim blue ceiling, my heart an empty void. I am dead. I truly believe it. No longer am I able to feel happiness. Only sorrow fills my heart.
But, I have to be strong. Like what they believe they think. It's not exactly killing me, so will I become stronger if I live? I wonder when my heart will start working like it once did. So far, I'm turning into the ashes I soon will become. Everyone will be nothing but ashes at a point. Ashes, coating the dirt, ashes flying in the wind. We will return to the ashes we were meant to be. I don't believe I'll survive
So I push off my bed, bare feet touching the frozen floor. And I get ready for school. Comb my long locks of wavy red hair in front of the mirror. From what I notice, my skin's getting paler, dark circles emerge under my amber eyes. Lips are chapped and bloodless. My clothes are pitch black, contrasting with my fair skin. I haven't worn another color since she's left. The jeans are winkled from the careless shoving into my dresser. Complimented with a long sleeve, button up. I recheck everything, hair, face, clothes, eyes; and everything seems okay. Downstairs, there's two used plates by the sink. Mom and dad already left. I sigh, moving towards the dishes and washing them. They haven't been the same either; dad talks less, and mom's already staring off into space. Both are constantly finding ways to keep her off their minds. Out of the corner of my eyes I see Vito, leaning against the window pane, blue eyes sad.
"Vito." I call to him. Ever so slightly, he turns his head. It's obvious he's been a complete mess. "I'll meet you outside."
He nods, but still returns to watching whatever is outside the window.
My frown increases. My brothers a zombie nowadays. And it doesn't help for emotional support. There's no one to help me. No one.
I grab a quick breakfast bar, or two, maybe three? A fourth to shove down my  mouth while I walk to the school. When the door sways open, the cool autumn breeze gently greets me. Brushing through my hair. Making me feel alive again. And just like most everything else, it dies out. Honestly, I don't even see the point in attending school if I know I'm going to fall asleep in all the classes. I set foot, into the day. Sky slowly turning baby blue. Sun over the hills, casting my shadow, accentuating it. And as I walk, all I can think about are ashes.


© 2012 A Drawer of Paper Roses


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Added on February 9, 2012
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Author

A Drawer of Paper Roses
A Drawer of Paper Roses

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I have a secret drawer full of paper roses You might think they aren't as romantic as real ones But you're only judging the appearance What if he/she can't get you as rose? He's too poor to buy on.. more..

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