sonic gang

fake friends, real memories

bright lights, hazy dreams

loud laughs, silent fights

cold shoulders, no goodbyes

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Few people befriend us forever dear Evelynn. The twisted tale of friendship. I hope you are doing well, be careful and stay safe. Thank you for sharing your amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Pete]

true, loyal friends are hard to come by. so much easier saying hello than goodbye. only when the wheels come off do we find out. great title, your words pack a punch of truth - right in the kisser ... :)

[Weeping willow]

Very few friends these days, your words bring memories to my heart of days of laughs and good old days.I miss my old friends, Some are dead, some have changed moving on forever to become someone else. Nice words.

[...]

This sounds to me like communication on this web site in between some strange people here.

[Davidgeo]

Nikola Tesla once claimed he could record thought somehow by reflecting light off a person's retina. It turned out to be nonsense but your poem reminded me of that. Not the nonsense part but the futility of trying to record moments in time as they are objectively, as a picture without subjective interpretation.

[JayG]

When you read this, each word acts as a pointer to images, ideas, and intent, all locked within your mind. So as you read it the words sing to you. And in your mind is the story you want to tell, illuminated by those words.

The reader? For them, too often, each word acts as a pointer to images, ideas, and intent, all locked within *YOUR* mind. And without you there to clarify...

Give your reader touch-points. Evoke the memories THEY carry. If, for example, you talk of the screams of children at a playground, or the scent of sunscreen at the beach, you call up sense memories in the reader to build on. But if you only call up your own sense-memories...

In short. Invite the reader in. Be their guide, not a guest speaker.

Sorry my news isn't better, but you did ask.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/