Night

Just came out of nowhere.

The hawk spreads its wings

And soars into the sky

In the throat of the lark

The gentle note dies

 

Flitting through the trees

A deadly game of tag

Their shadoes follow

With a slight, unpleasant lag

 

Time stands still

A deathly trance

Nature watches transfixed

Their mortal dance

 

A scream pierces the air, and the heavens weep

The devil laughs loud and long.

The winds howl, the oceans roar.

An eerie swan song.

 

The spirit moves on

Its work is done.

Light is past

And darkness begun.

SOUL LESS

Author's Note

Suggest a better title...and some constructive criticism. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Mayhaps the game of death? I don't know, but this is amazing!!!!!!! I love your choice of words, how elegant they sound. And I love the way you showed the larks death like a loss of innocence, "...the heavens weep/ the devils laugh, loud and long" I have to admit, this is one of the best random pieces I can recall reading:) Great Work!!!:)

[Brianna Brie]

A scream pierces the air, and the heavens weep

I suggest dropping "a" and "the." "Screams pierce the air, and heavens weep" As for a title, "Soulless Night" might be cool. I enjoyed the mood you set. Nice write!

[black.butterfly]

I like it. It has a very eerie mood, a really nice write

[Rose Masen]

Very eerie. Yet darkly beautiful.

[An owl on the moon]

The darkness moves here, alive in the description and draping the scene with emotion. Deeply drawn with stunning imagery.

[trainwreck]

This was lovely and haunting. Great write.

[roarke]

Excellent. A great way to illustrate the coming of night. Original and direct. Strong stuff.

[poems with feeling]

this is just amazing wow so dark but let its so right the we i read his it open my mind to a new will of hrut and pain

[Valentine]

Really liked the first three groupings..the last to not sop well done..Valentine

[Chelsea]

This is really great stuff! You definitely have the thing for poetry down! And I can’t really criticize, it’s really great! You made a spelling mistake though shadoes- shadows
But yes, I think you could come up with a better title!! I like the idea of a deadly game of tag, maybe something from that?!?! It’s really good added to my favourites!

[MiidniightSoul]

Brilliant. It's a beautiful and dark poem. I really like the imagery in this poem, so vivid and well expressed. You made the night look so lonely, so vulnerable. And personally, I wouldn't change the title, it's simple and right to the point. Amazing.