Chapter 6 School's Got Talents award?

Wednesday 2nd May

I walked down the stairs, frightened to meet Callum's gaze from what happened on Monday night.
 
"Time to come in." He'd said, at the foot of the garden and eyes full on blaze as he peered down on Cameron.
            Our hug was peaceful until Callum stuck his big neck into it. He eyed me and nudged his head. Meaning I should get in so Cameron and him could talk, even though there was nothing going on between me and him.
            "I'm saying goodnight, Callum," I'd told him with my head held high, yet my skin got goosebumps from his cold stare. "Just go wait inside." I had demanded of him.
            But with that, he opened the gate and stepped closer to me and Cameron. Cameron didn't look fazed, in fact, he looked calm and serene. Just looking back at Callum who gave him death threats through his eyes.
            "I'm leaving now, anyway." Cameron had said, his arm still around my waist where my skin tingled under my clothes. I had been so close to him today I didn't want to move, it killed me thinking I wasn't going to see him anytime soon the way Callum was glaring at him. "Bye, Dawn."
             Cameron hugged me tightly again, this time, his head bent crookidly into the hollow of my neck. I felt him inhale and his grip tightened. But I know why he did this, he was taking the piss out of Callum. Making him feel helpless as me, his baby sister, was in close contact with the opposite sex.
             I peered over Cameron's shoulder and I seen Callum's nose flare as if he smelled something rotten. His shoulders square and arms tense. Actually, all of him seemed tense, poor Callum.
             As Cameron peeled back, he smiled down on me.
"See you later." That felt warming. No, it felt like a promise. I imagined catching his words like a blow kiss and sealing it in my heart forever. Just a promise between us.
             Once we let go, I felt cold. But it was me who was moving, not him. Callum stepped aside as I ventured, cold and alone, staggering into the garden and up the path.
              At a distance, I could hear the boys talking.
Don't play with her, this ain't a game, fella. That was Callum, as always, protecting me when I'm old enough to protect myself. I felt like going back and dragging him back inside by his hair.
             I'm not like that, dude. Then there was Cameron, cool and collected Cameron. He sounded so menacing saying 'dude' it made me bite my lip in anticipation.
I'm being serious...I couldn't hear as Callum began to whisper. Damn! I wish I had super hearing like cats. Or an invisability cloak like in Harry Potter then I could just spy on them.
             Don't worry, it's not like that with me and her. That was Cameron, and those little, meaningless words seemed to cut right through me. 'Not like that with me and her?' Them words made me speechless. I mean, I know he likes someone else, but that hurt after that hug that seemed to give me hope.
             Now I feel crushed, no, smothered in disbelief. It hurt.

Now, it was Wednesday and I still felt the dribbling pain of my heart spilling over the edges. Even my mother looked at me weird and asked me if I was alright.
            "You don't look so well, you can stay home if you want, sweetheart." She said sweetly to me, giving me the look as if she was peering into my soul.
            "No, mother," I said as I walked into the kitchen and heated up a sausage roll. "I'm fine." I said as I stared, mesmerized by the whirring of the microwave and the light that followed. It was the only thing that dragged my mind away from Monday night, the crippling heartache.
            I took it out and ate it, feeling sick to my stomach as I swallowed. Leaving a dry and unwanted taste in my mouth I knew I'd throw it away once outside.
I said I was off to school when I shuffled out the door, but before I left, I heard Callum and mother murmur as I shut the door behind me.
            "She normally eats them cold." Mother said, clearly puzzled at my strange behaviour.
"Somethings up with her, it's not like her to eat them warm." Callum babbled, like he thought I had some disease and my only symptom was eating things warm.
 
In school at break, I excused myself from my group, including Lucy, from joking about and playing around inside. I felt alone, so alone in the crowds. People walked past me but seemed to avoid me, light from the windows burned me. I felt like I was an unhappy face, in a sea of happy smiles. It was sickening and truly painful. All because Cameron said some measly words that probably didn't mean a lot.
            I walked down the stairs into the bottom level corridor and past teachers and doors. Kids younger than me looked at me and giggled, calling me a 'emo' and 'f*****g goth'. I didn't care, really. I didn't feel angry or pissed at them, just felt like spewing my guts up with my emotions along with it into a bowl of 'I don't care' and throwing it at Cameron. Seeing how he'd feel. Besides, they were either chav's, spice boys, girls who dress the trend and people who follow, not my problem.
            Then, I passed a lit classroom that had no one inside. I looked up at the number plate and hefted my bag highger up my slouching shoulder.
 

1.23
Music
Mr. Dunlop

I peered inside the little block window, my breathing fogging up the glass. I seen no one in, and no Mr. Dunlop. But seen the grand brown piano resting by the wall, looking alone, also. With that, guitars lined and positioned on the floor by the walls. Most of them scratched and dented from stupid and disrespectful students.
             I checked the door. Unlocked.
With a heavy sigh yet tempting shiver, I looked around and slithered inside. The room was spacious and smelled like lemons and strong garlic. It was sick yet helpful to my miserable mood. I glimpsed at the guitars that seemed to reach their guitar strings out to me, willing me to play them. The grand piano just sitting there like a pile of dust.
            I heard kids rush to the canteen to get more food before the next class, which was in ten more minutes. I had time to spare.
            I picked up a smooth yet bumpy guitar, the feeling so neutral to me. I felt like I belonged here. And somehow, my once disappointed and sad mood had lifted to a more calming and musical mood. I remembered the notes I wrote down that Monday night when I was so angry. Angry at Cameron. When all I could do was feel the hollow space of my neck where his face inhaled, it now felt like scars. I didn't want to cry or shout into my pillow, I just wanted to write. Pen to paper. The lyrics seemed to jump out at me and I began to play.
   

 Sometimes, I feel so insecure,
Most times, I can't do anything.
Wanna drink some old liquor,
To drown out all the pain.
When I feel like my will is gone,
I just wanna sit and play this song...
This song.

'Cause when all my strength has left me,
I just wanna cry.
Build myself up like lego,
And think myself dry.
With all the hurt and all the pain,
I want to fall like rain.
Fall like rain and spill like the sea.

I held still for a moment when I felt my last drip of misery slip from my mind, my happy, more amusing side of me sprang free. My spirit felt like it was riding free with my music.
            With it being silent, I jumped and spun on my heels with the guitar clutched to my chest when I heard an applause from behind me. The door ajar and kids actually peering inside, looking and clapping at me while Mr. Dunlop was, too. Smiling and gleaming at me, his bright brown eyes, squinted from smiling, shining brightly at me.
            "I'm so sorry-"
"Please, it's alright Ms Evers." Mr. Dunlop raised a hand and shooed off the kids that kept glaring at me as if I just shot a celebritiy. He closed the door and came over to me and his laptop. "Dawn, when I taught you in Year 9, I knew you had a gift. You wouldn't pay attention in class, all you'd do was write lyrics in your book and play the guitar whenever you got the chance."
            Mr. Dunlop was a handsome man. His African American skin was unblemished and looked extremely smooth, his fuzz of hair on the top of his head once bald now had a bit of volume like a real afro. His eyes like charcoal, deep and dark, just like his voice. Like a jazz singer, he's amazing at the piano and trumpet.
            "I always thought, 'damn, that girl's got something going on here.'" He smiled at me, his pearly whites gleaming in the lights. I held onto the guitar but sat down on a chair. "But now, you've only gotten better." He sat down on his swivel chair, eyeing me.
            "I only write lyrics from my own experience." I said glumly.
"That's not a bad thing, in fact, that's a wonderful thing." He pouted at me. "It's more meaningful and people can relate, here what I'm saying? But that song sounded sad, it actually made me feel your pain. Is it a boy?" He was joking with me like an old friend, then got serious towards the end.
            Suddenly, my walls came thundering up, shielding myself from any emotion. But how did he catch on so quick? Was is the very obvious lyrics?
            "Dawn," He started to do a husky chuckled that sounded like a bear would do, which was cute. "I'm a 45 year old man, I've been there, done that. You're not alone." He smiled at me and he leaned forward. "There's a competition in the next few months, School's Got Talent awards. It's where a few schools in a few towns hold audience live auditions and later, the teachers who are the judges pick who to go through. With the chosen ones, the singers, actors, dancers... Whatever, they do their stuff in Hugberry Hall after and the winner is chosen from the judges." Hugberry Hall was a classy venue for weddings, birthdays, parties and now School's Got Talent awards? It wasn't an ugly building, but not a pretty one, either. Nestled right on the edge of our town.
            All that made my head spin and heart race. A competition, me? Live audience? Singing...My stuff? I couldn't, I have stage fright. I'd probably wee on stage and run off.
            "I know it's a lot to take in, but I was actually coming to see you to ask you about it. You can sing your own stuff." He crossed his legs and seemed genuine about this, but I felt like throwing up. "Of course, I won't be the judge in Hugberry Hall, but I'll be a music judge in this school for the auditions. And I know how good you are, in fact, some kids here stared at you in complete awe as they heard you sing properly." He talked highly of me, but being on stage isn't where I stand. I can't stand on the stage, it's frightening and horrible.
             "But I have stage fright." I said wimply, clutching the guitar's smooth neck.
"You need to fight your fears by facing them." With that, I stared directly into Mr. Dunlop's eyes. Knowing I've heard something like that before. So similar I could hear it being recited in my mind.
             The bell rang all too quick and I was thankful. I placed the guitar to Mr. Dunlop and was already leaving. 
             "Please, think about it Dawn." He asked after me once kids staretd to fill up his class like water in a cup. "Auditions are next Wednesday after school, the actual competition is after your prom in July. Please think about it."
             All to soon, I was imagining myself on the stage. Big lights shining down on me, the smell of pine and sweat from myself. Microphone staring back at me as I shaked with my guitar and lips. A crowd hovering in front of me. Snickering. Laughing. Commenting. Pointing. Double takes. Smirks. All the horrid feedback making my words slur and hair stick to my forehead.
             With these horible images looming around in my brain, I trekked the stairs and, finally from all day, forgot about Cameron for once.