A Beat Of The Wings

Antenna and feelers picking up scent

Descends upon flowers, the honey well-spent

Hops bed-to-bed, escapes vent-to-vent

A meander on breezes

with hovering intent

Its vacuum absorbing all that is bright

Consumption for colour, all red, black, and white

Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight

Fearsome to predator

Evasive in flight

Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net

Energy burnt like a quick cigarette

Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt

A gamble of moments

On a destiny bet

Life is short and existence small

Life is a butterfly perched on a wall

Fly away Peter, fly away Paul

A beat of the wings

Then it's death to us all

Reviews

[Sara]

okay, this is going into my favorites, like, right now. :) it's very beautiful... there is just a delicate sensitivity about it that immediately speaks to me... that last stanza leaves me speechless ('fly away peter, fly away paul' = is there such a thing as religious romanticism because that line is fantastic)... today i overheard someone say 'the universe doesn't give a s**t about us' -- i think you're saying the same thing here, just in a more gentle, intricately woven way... wonderful rumination on the frailty and transience of life. total love.

(ehh, just reread what i wrote, and sorry if i sound off, i'm very tired... to bed nao. bye.)

[FlawedByDesign]

So much beauty in such small things. So graceful and magnificent yet fragile; you've captured it in your writing. I've read that a butterfly is seen as the personification of a person's soul; whether they be living, dying, or already dead. That's quite spiritual on top of being beautiful, but as you say,
"Life is short and existence small"
Butterflies grace this earth for mere weeks, but field of butterflies is like being immersed in colour and a site to behold.

Nicely done!

[just rose.]

Uplifting! just kidding. A great subversion of the "butterfly-as-hope" trope. The point is, we ARE limited by time and fate, no matter what kind of sparkles and wings we've got. And the rhymes are wonderful. Well done.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

i love the skilled inclusion of the nursery rhyme at the end of this.. it is so rare to see writers use such well-known words in new ways, that feel fresh and not derivative.

the whole thing, really, is a fresh take on a much ill-used subject in nature (butterflies).. incredible, my friend

[Alicante lullaby]

A beat of wings
Then its death to all...
beautiful and its astounishing to see how you see life in butterfly wings but it made me a little sad.

[Augustus]

Profound and magnificent! A wonderful extended metaphor, signifying how ephemeral our existence is...Nice rhyme and rhythm....The similes used are effective also..."energy burnt like a quick cigarette" for instance...But the line which captivated me the most was
"Life is a butterfly perched on a wall".
The soul of the poem lies here I feel...

"Fly away Peter, Fly away Paul" is also a very very deep line...
Placing the finality of death beyond religion or righteousness....
And it ends with the profundity that one comes to expect from all the previous lines...
"A beat of the wings
Then its death to us all"
Phenomenal!

[Awdures]

Exquisitely written and very true

[zombiikillah666]

ooooo. i like this. starts off nice and ends in
its death. cool. crazy cool.
i love it. (:
*applauds** xD

[Nianque]

This poem is straight to the point. Love it ! The figurative language speaks.

[Buddhistboy73]

short, sweet, does exactly what it says on the tin...I liked this write. The final stanza particularly grabbed my attention, as it is very accurate. Good write...:)

[Claire McCracken]

This is wonderful. Intricate, detailed, powerful and ultimately relevant. Good work.